Angels That Shall Remain
by summer-dremer
Summary: UPDATED! (Chapter 15) Leah and Ethan have agreed to be friends after four years of no communication. Can fate and a strange twist of events bring them back together and help them realize they will always be more than friends?
1. Default Chapter

Leah sat on the giant rock in silence as she watched the twinkling of the millions of stars in the heavens above as the moonlight beam bleached the snowy, white ground of the dark, peaceful winter's night. "It's really beautiful, Ethan."  
  
"Yes. But it can never match your measure of beauty." He stood gazing down at her, his face lit on one side by the silvery moon. Her body began to tingle with every nerve in anticipation and excitement. "You are the only girl I have ever kissed."  
  
Although there was a winter's chill in the atmosphere, her body was warmed by Ethan's soft, gentle voice. "It's hard to believe you weren't kissed before," she said in response.  
  
"It is the truth." He didn't offer any further explanation but Leah knew that he was being honest.  
  
"But," he said, "I want very much to kiss you now."  
  
All other thoughts fled her mind as she slowly slid off the rock into the safe arms of Ethan. She raised her arms to encircle his neck as he slowly pulled her body close, pressing his hands against the small of her back. He lowered his mouth to hers as her nerves quickly reached to an unbearable level of eagerness. Soon, she felt the touch velvet softness against her lips and suddenly, there was a voice.  
  
"Good morning Indianapolis! You're listening to KISS 98.5 and it is seven o'clock in the morning! We'll start off this hour with some easy listening! Here's..." Leah suddenly woke up in and realized she was in her small apartment bedroom. She quickly ran to her mirror by her dresser in confusion. As she peered into her mirror, she saw her own reflection with tears running down her soft, smooth cheek. It was a dream...again, thought Leah, as she slowly sat back on her twin-sized bed.  
  
Her mother had recently gotten married, once again, but this time around, Leah had faith in their marriage. Her mom and new stepdad were vacationing throughout Europe for the next six months and she was happy for them. Leah is now a college student at the University of Indiana, planning to become a nurse. Before continuing with her studies, she decided to take a break and work at the hospital in Indianapolis.  
  
It has been four years since she last saw Ethan. Four years since she was held by his strong, gentle arms and was called "My Leah" by his voice that had always made her melt each time. It had taken her many months to close that sad yet wonderful chapter of her life. Yet, it was only ten days ago, when her dreams and memories of the wonderful times she had with Ethan came rushing back into her mind when she helped an unexpected patient...  
  
"Hi Leah. Dr. Barlow told me that he has a patient in  
room 367 and he wants you to look over him and make all the  
necessary preparations before he examines him. Okay?" asked  
Belinda, one of the nurses Leah worked with.  
  
"Yeah. Sure. That's no problem. I'll go up to the third  
floor right after I wash m hands."  
  
Minutes later, she had reached the third floor and slowly  
walked to room 367. As she picked up Dr. Barlow's patient's  
chart, she walked into the examination room. "Hi, I'm Leah and  
I'll be the student-nurse that will be assisting Dr. Barlow with  
your examination. So... Mr..." As she slowly flipped through the  
charts to find the patient's name, she was struck with shock as  
she read the last name she though she would never voice again in  
her lifetime. "Mr. Longacre. I didn't know it was you," said  
Leah as she quickly panicking and did not know how to respond.  
  
"Good morning Leah. It's nice to see you again. You seem  
well." Mr. Longacre smiled politely. "And Leah, do not look so  
scared. Ethan is not with me. None of my family members are  
here with me on this visit."  
  
Leah smiled as she was dumbstruck. She slowly mumbled in  
response. "I... err... well... even if Ethan was here, it... wouldn't  
make... a... difference." She smiled awkwardly as she slowly  
grasped of the thought of talking to the man she once thought  
might have become her father-in-law.  
  
"Leah, you don't have to try to act in front of me. I  
know you and Ethan had a special connection."  
  
"Ethan is in my past. There's no point in visiting the  
past. The connection we might have had has long passed.  
Anyways... what are we going to be doing today?" She quickly  
busied herself by skimming through the charts trying to avoid  
Mr. Longacre's eye contact.  
  
"I've been having some pains awhile back and I came to see  
Dr. Barlow two months ago. I've been on medication ever since  
and I'm here on a check-up to see if there have been any  
improvements."  
  
"Oh alright then. That answers my question. Why didn't  
any of your family members come with you?" She thought this was  
very odd considering that Mr. Longacre was longer considered  
"young" and he has spent many years of hard labour and wasn't  
surprised that he was getting pains and his health would be a  
very important concern to his family.  
  
"No one knows I am here. I told everyone I was visiting  
my cousin in another town. I did not want to make my family  
think I was old or weak. It would bring my family shame to know  
I may be getting too old to support my own family. You wouldn't  
understand. The ways of the Amish." The famous line, thought  
Leah as she slowly read Mr. Longacre's facial expressions. It  
was that same line that she could only think of why she and  
Ethan could never be. Mr. Longacre had drastically aged over  
the last few years and it has become very obvious that his  
health was going to soon catch up with him.  
  
Leah looked back on that day as if it was yesterday. She was hit with a nuclear missile that didn't spread radiation but memories of her beloved days with Ethan. Her Ethan. Ever since that day she met with Mr. Longacre, her nights have been endless reminders of her past and she dreamt each night of the life she had... could have had... but will never have now. As she thought about her past, tears of sadness rolled down her smooth, soft cheeks as another morning slowly escaped her. 


	2. Life Goes On

It was a quiet, cool evening as Ethan watched the stars twinkle under the blanket of the night sky. He was now twenty-two years old and supported his choice in returning to the Longacre farm to help his family yet, his mind still often wandered back four years ago to the times he spent with His Leah. He sat at the small wooden table beside his bed and took hold of his pencil that lay beside his oil lamp. He began writing and was soon last in his own thoughts, feelings, and most of all, his memories. His daze was interrupted by a gentle ramping on his door. "Come in."  
  
Charity, his sister who was a year younger, quietly walked in and sat down on his bed. "Ethan, are you writing another letter to her?" She looked at her brother endearingly.  
  
"To her? What makes you think I am writing to a girl?" Ethan was trying his best to look convincing but he knew deep down he was a horrible liar. For the last four years, he has been writing letters to Leah and even had them stamped and ready to be mailed yet; he was never able to gather enough courage to send it. Under his bed was a box of unsent letters, all addressed to one Leah Lewis-Hall.  
  
"Ethan, you don't have to try to pretend with me. I know you've tried to get on with your life, even by proposing and getting engaged to Martha Dewberry. But you cannot choose where your heart leads you." She was right but Ethan could not bring shame to his father. His family is and will always be his first priority. Charity shared Ethan's sadness and pain. After Ethan and Leah chose to go separate ways, she swore to her brother that she would not have any form of communication with Leah. He had lost a love and Charity had lost a best friend. "Once you get married and have children, it will eventually get easier and you WILL be happy. Don't worry -" Their conversation was cut short when they heard a soft click-clucking of horse hooves and they both knew that Papa had come home.  
  
They both hurried into to meet their father. "Papa, I am glad you are home!" Charity smiled as she helped her father into his chair by the fireplace.  
  
"Good evening Charity. I am also glad to be home. Ethan? Are you alright? You seem a bit pale in the cheeks. Was everything well on the farm today?" Jacob Longacre felt very distant from his son every since he had returned home after leaving to be with Leah. He was unsure of what or how his son was thinking or feeling. But he knew deep in his heart that Ethan had made the right choice in returning to his  
  
"I'm fine. Just a long day. Nothing a good night's sleep won't cure." Ethan smiled trying to hide his feelings. He knew that it had made his father proud to come back to the farm and it would only hurt him again if he told him he was thinking about Leah again.  
  
Later that night, the Longacre men gathered in the barn and conversed among themselves. Jacob pulled Ethan aside as he asked, "Ethan, are you sure you're okay? You seem distracted. Is everything okay with you and Martha? She is a wonderful girl and you should feel lucky to have won her heart."  
  
"I am fine father. Martha and I... are fine. You know... pre-marriage nerves. That's all. And like I told you before, it's been a long day." Ethan tried very hard to find an answer that would satisfy his father. After everything over the past few years, he did not want to complicate anything more in his family.  
  
"Oh son! That's normal! I remember when I married your mother! She was beautiful! So beautiful that I was left speechless. Marriage is a very sacred gift and you will learn to greatly appreciate it. You made the right choice son."  
  
"Yes father." Ethan nodded and stepped away as Simeon, his younger brother, came up and began to talk to his father.  
  
Ethan sat quietly by himself in the corner for a long time. Soon, Nathan, another one of his younger brothers, came to join him. "Ethan? Will I have to marry one day?"  
  
Ethan smiled down at his kid brother and reflected back on the years he was younger when he looked up to his older brother, Eli, who is now estranged to the family. He too would ask Eli very innocent question with curiosity. "Nathan, one day you will meet a girl and you will know right away if she is the one or not. When you find that girl, you will never leave her side."  
  
"It's that simple? Wow! And I thought it would be harder! Was that how it was when you first met Martha?" Nathan was much too young to remember Leah and believed that his older brother had always loved Martha.  
  
Ethan sat in silence, unsure of how to answer his little brother. He nodded but at the back of his mind, he was confused and unsure. He would have been with Martha long before if he had not gone to the hospital and not have met Leah. It seemed logical to choose to be with the Amish girl rather than the English one. But do we choose who we love or does love choose for us? 


	3. The Town of Happiness

Eventually, Leah gathered the strength to change into her nurse outfit and went off to work. As she roamed the hospital halls helping out many of the doctors, she couldn't help but think about Mr. Longacre's health and the life she left behind in Nappanee.  
"Good morning Leah. Wonderful day isn't it? I love to breathe in the fresh, cool morning air!" Dr. Barlow was a very happy doctor who loved doing his job every day.  
  
"Morning Doc! Yeah... Wonderful indeed!" Luckily Dr. Barlow did not catch Leah's sarcasm behind it. "Umm... doc. About Mr. Longacre... is he okay? Health-wise? He's not dying or anything right?" Leah has been holding in her curiosity for days now but she couldn't bear it anymore. Along with her nightly dreams of her bitter sweet past with Ethan, she has been worrying about Ethan's father's health.  
  
"Leah... you know that I have to obey my doctor-patient confidentiality agreement. You know better than to ask..." Dr. Barlow was a very easy- going person but when it came to his work, he can be very serious on the matter.  
  
"Right... I'm sorry. Forget I asked," said Leah very disappointedly.  
  
Touched by her disappointment and letdown, he couldn't live with Leah's sad face. "Tell you what! Since you seem to be a friend of Mr. Longacre and you are the nurse who helped me, I can cut you some slack." He smiled kindly. "His health is fine for now. However, he seems much stressed and after working on the farm for so many years, it's paid a toll on his health and not to mention his age! The Amish people are very different! I keep telling him that he should rest and entrust the farm work and responsibilities to his sons but he won't listen." As the doctor continued telling Leah about Ethan's father's condition she began to wonder if the Amish would ever change their ways, especially when it comes to their actual health.  
  
As the day continued, she began to ponder more and more about her past. In between her shifts, she often found herself walking the halls with tears rolling down her face, reminiscing about the days she was held by Ethan's strong arms, his soothing voice that made her knees go weak and melt, and the touch of his velvet lips every time they kissed.  
  
Weeks later, Dr. Barlow asked Leah into his office. "Leah, please have a seat. I have to ask you about something."  
  
She sat down in confusion and asked, "Is something wrong doc? It's not Mr. Longacre right? He's still healthy right?" Anxiety and worry began to bubble in her body as she waited him to explain why he had asked for her.  
  
"Don't worry Leah. He's still fine." Relief rained on her as she began to listen intently. "A colleague of mine who works in a small town a few kilometres away has been diagnosed with the first stage of lung cancer. She has asked me to take over her practise while she undergoes treatment. She is unsure of when she will return, or return at all. I plan to go to her town and take Belinda with me. But I also need another back-up with me in case we need any extra hands. I would graciously appreciate it if you come with us. I will pay for all the expenses and materials and my wife and two children will be there also. I can also write you an excellent reference letter or even put in a good word for you at the university. Your help would be very valuable. Will you come with us?" He smiled optimistically, hoping Leah would agree.  
  
Leah was hit by another bombshell. Where was she? The war front? If she went with him and his family, she might be able to busy herself enough to not think about her past. Then again, she greatly enjoyed the city and the last time she went to a town, she left it broken-hearted. With mixed emotions, she was confused and unsure of everything. "I am honoured with this opportunity. It's a very big decision and I will need time to think about it. I'll tell you tomorrow morning Doc!"  
  
Two weeks later, she found herself packed and ready for another adventure. Her mom had agreed with her that it would be a good change, a good distraction from all her thoughts about her past. She started the engine of her not-so-new red convertible and drove behind the Barlow's' van and the trucks carrying all their possessions and she was set on another adventure again.  
  
After driving for about one hundred and twenty miles from Indianapolis, she slowly reached the horizon of the small town she would spend the next while in. As she followed the trucks, she began to think to herself. This seems very similar? Why am I feeling this odd, churning sensation at the pit of my stomach? And boom! She found out why! As she drove down the road, she came upon a sign and her mind simply went blank.  
  
Welcome to the Township of Nappanee  
Please Enjoy Your Stay!  
  
She was in complete and utter shock, even when she turned onto the driveway of her new home. Mrs. Barlow came up to her convertible with a curious face. "Leah dear, are you feeling alright? You seem a little pale. Is everything okay?"  
  
Leah tried to put her thoughts into words but couldn't. How could she be back! How was she so dumb not to ask the Doc WHICH town they were going to!!! Panic and disbelief clouded her brain and she didn't know what to say or do. "I... err..."  
  
Soon Dr. Barlow came up beside her wife. "Leah? You look like you're going to be sick." He began snapping his fingers sequentially to try to get her attention. "Leah! Earth to Leah! You okay?"  
  
After the ninetieth or twentieth snap, she was brought back to reality. "Err... what Doc? I'm sorry... I was paying attention. I haven't been getting enough sleep lately." She quickly shook back to herself and realized the entire Barlow family and Belinda, the other nurse, were looking at her in concern. "I'm fine! I just need some sleep! Don't worry about me!"  
  
Belinda walked towards her and touched her forehead with the back of her palm to check if she had a fever. "Well... dear. If it's just lack of sleep, go to bed earlier tonight. We don't have to open the office until Monday and it's only Saturday afternoon."  
  
"Err... right! I will." She was mixed up with different emotions - confusion, shock, disbelief, anxiety, sadness, excitement.  
  
Leah rested the entire weekend in her bedroom she shared with Belinda in the new house that Dr. Barlow had bought before they came. She occasionally went downstairs for meals and some fresh air on the porch.  
  
Late Sunday afternoon, Mrs. Barlow was unpacking with the help of her two children - Brian who was 12 years old and Maxine who just turned 16. As Leah slowly descended the stairs, her smile and renewed energy was met with a rush of conversation from everyone asking about her how she felt, how much they liked the town, and even the wonderful weather.  
  
Belinda came out of the kitchen and immediately smiled at Leah. "It's wonderful to see you smiling again! I need to buy some things at the grocery store. Would you like to accompany me? You can get some fresh air." She was so persuasive that Leah could not resist.  
  
As they began to walk along the side of the road, Belinda was trying to follow a map that Dr. Barlow's colleague had left them. "This map... this colleague of his has chicken scratch as writing! I don't even know which way the map should be held!"  
  
Leah smiling and said, "Belinda, you don't need a map. We keep walking until we reach the gas station then we turn left and walk for a bit and we'll see the large sign pointing to the grocery store. Come, come!!!" Leah skipped off as if she was a little school girl. Leah laughed and was happy, something she hasn't felt for a long time. This made her wonder if being back in the town had brought her happiness because of its familiarity and hospitality. 


	4. The Sighting

When they reached the grocery store half an hour later, Belinda looked at Leah in wonder and awe and asked curiously, "Leah, how did you know where it was? It's as if you been in this town before!"  
  
Leah looked endearingly back into the gentle brown eyes of her friend, "I was here before but that chapter in my life has been closed." She looked away and began walking down the aisles looking for tomorrow's breakfast.  
  
Belinda thought to herself. Chapter closed? What in the world does that mean? Young people! All their lives revolve around drama. Drama, drama, drama! Little did Belinda know that Leah's life was much more than drama.  
  
After spending an hour at the grocery store stacking up on food they'll need for the next few days, Belinda paid the cashier and they both exited the store. Belinda walked to the pay phone and said, "I'm going to call the Doc and get him to give us a ride. There's no way we're both going to be able to carry these bags all the way back home."  
  
Leah nodded in agreement and dropped the bags of grocery gently on the floor. "I'll be right back. I'm just going to walk around and take a look at the town. I'll be back in 10 minutes."  
  
"Well, if you want to look around, take as long as you want. I can wait for Doc by myself. You can stay in town for as long as you like but you'll have to walk home by yourself. Is that okay?" Belinda could sense that Leah wanted to explore the town that she once had some kind of past with.  
  
"Oh okay. I'll be home before supper." She smiled and walked off. She slowly walked up the street and looked at all the small stores and little inns. Most of the town looked the same as she had left it four years ago. As she continued to walk onwards, she came upon a parking lot that once stood the small two-floor inn she worked in five summers ago. She was stunned to realize that it was torn down and was made into a parking lot. She began to wonder what had happened to Mr. and Mrs. Soltz. They didn't seem quite old enough to retire yet. She continued to walk on and eventually she came upon the video rental store. She looked into the store through the window and smiled and many memories flowed back into her mind. She has spent many weekends walking up and down the aisles of the large volume of videos with Ethan. She sighed and sat down on a nearby bench.  
  
It seemed like hours to Leah as she sat and watched the cars, trucks, and buggies pass by. Some people walking by glanced at her in curiosity and some even gave her odd looks, wondering if Leah was lost but she ignored all of them and was left in her small bubble of her mind.  
  
Leah watched as the puffy white clouds dissipated as the clear blue sky slowly blended into the red and orange of the early evening sky. The sun softly met the clear horizon at the hilltop as the day ended and nature awaited the birth of another evening night.  
  
Her trance was suddenly interrupted by an irritating racket. HONK! HONK! HONK! "Leah!" She looked up in confusion and saw Maxine, Dr. Barlow's sixteen year old daughter waving from her jeep that was parked on the other side of the road. Maxine quickly ran across the street and joined Leah on the bench. "Hey Leah. I've been looking around for you! I was so bored at home and Belinda told me you were exploring the town and I thought I might as well join you.  
  
Leah smiled and she was glad Maxine had found her. "Yeah. I needed some fresh air so I decided to take a walk. There are a lot of things to do here. You just have to know where to go. You can rent videos or even go to The Rink."  
  
"The Rink? What's that?" Maxine was surprised that Leah knew so much about this small town of Nappanee.  
  
"It's this local hangout. I'll take you sometime."  
  
"So how do you know so much about this town? Have you been here before?" She was confused yet extremely curious at Leah's knowledge about life in this town.  
  
She laughed in response and smiled happily. "I had many visits to this town and I even worked in an inn for a summer when I was younger."  
  
"Wow! Really? Why did you choose to live in this town? I thought you lived in cities, not small townships."  
  
"Well... I met some people who lived in this town..." Before she said anymore, she realized she had said too much from the beginning. "But that was a long time ago. That chapter in my life is now closed." She smiled back at Maxine, hoping that she wouldn't ask any more questions.  
  
"Oh okay. So mysterious!" She smiled back at Leah. "Well... the town seems very peaceful and I met some of those Amish people. They're really nice, a bit odd though with their old clothes and funny buggies. But I think I'll have a good time!" Leah smiled and nodded in agreement. "Well, it's almost supper time! We better get going if we don't want to be late! Mom will kill me!"  
  
They both crossed the street towards Maxine's new green jeep. Leah opened the door on the passenger side and climbing onto her seat. Maxine started the engine and slowly drove on until they were stopped at the red light. As Leah looked out her window, she realized they had stopped beside a buggy. "Max, you know what? I've always wanted to race one of these buggies!" She laughed at the thought.  
  
"Hey! That Amish boy in the buggy is pretty cute! I definitely now know that I'll really like living in this town!" She smiled and waved at the Amish boy.  
  
Leah laughed at her friend and turned to see what the Amish's reaction would be. As she slowly turned towards her window, her face was transfixed in shock as she saw the face of Simeon Longacre, Ethan's younger brother! Simeon had the same reaction as Leah did and his eyes widened as if he was unsure if he was seeing properly. Just as Maxine began to make the turn towards on the street, she saw another face appear behind Simeon. It was Ethan, Her Ethan! She quickly looked away hoping that Ethan had not seen her.  
  
"Leah, what's wrong with you? That boy wasn't THAT cute!" Maxine was confused by Leah's facial expression that read nothing but shock and disbelief.  
  
She tried to put her thoughts to words as they continued to drive towards home. "Max... remember just now I said 'that chapter in my life is now closed'? Well... consider it reopened!" She turned to look at Maxine's expression.  
  
"You were with that Amish boy? He's a bit you don't you think?!?!" She was surprised that Leah was attracted to men that were so much younger than her.  
  
"NO! The OTHER Amish boy! I mean... man!" She tried to grasp what had just happened but her mind was a blur.  
  
Eventually, Leah explained her past with the town of Nappanee, Amish people, and the Longacre family, particularly about Ethan. After the long explanation, Maxine was left open-mouthed in shock! "Wow, Leah I never knew! If I did... well I don't know. I'm so sorry to hear it ended in such a sad way. If there's anything I can do, just ask!" Leah knew there was nothing she could do but it comforted her to know that she had a caring friend. Ever since she and Ethan went their separate ways, she had lost touch with Charity, one of her closest friends. 


	5. Barn Talk

"Charity dear, can you please help Elizabeth gather some water from the pump?" Mrs. Longacre called from the kitchen to Charity who was playing with Nathan on the porch.  
  
"Okay mother!" She ran to the back of the house and helped Elizabeth, her younger sister. As they were slowly pumping the water, they heard the soft click-clucking of the buggy and heard someone jump off and their footsteps were quickly coming towards them. Soon, she saw Ethan run into the open and quickly grabbed Charity by the arm and dragged her into the barn.  
  
"Oww!! What was that for Ethan?!" She knew her brother was strong but she had obviously underestimated his strength and power.  
  
Ethan was out of breath and looked around to make sure no one was able to overhear their conversation. "Sorry Charity! But I wanted to talk to you right away in private." He paused and began to ramble as he said, "I saw her! I saw her! Even ask Simeon, he saw her too!" His face read nothing but excitement and exhilaration.  
  
"Whoa! Slow down Ethan! I didn't get any word you just said!" She was confused and surprised by Ethan's behaviour. He is usually so composed and collected.  
  
He gasped for air and he took a few seconds to gather his thoughts and slowly said, "I saw her. Her being Leah. The one and only Leah. Your Leah, My Leah!" He looked down at his younger sister's confused face, waiting for her to process the thought.  
  
"Oh! HER!!!" She finally understood what her brother was talking about and she was suddenly hit with shock. "Wait a minute! When did you see her? She's supposed to be gone! Gone far, FAR away! Ethan, I thought you stop experimenting! And I never thought you would go as far as to taking drugs!" She would not let herself believe that the same girl she was best friends with was back in town. She tried to think of every reason why her brother was thinking about such crazy hallucinations!  
  
"It's the truth." Just then, there was a tiny knock on the barn door and Simeon peeked in.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt. But you two HAVE to lower your voices! The barn isn't made of metal." Simeon quietly entered the barn, followed by Elizabeth.  
  
"So what are you going to do Ethan?" asked Elizabeth.  
  
"Wait... I still don't believe that you two saw her," said Charity as she glanced at Ethan and Simeon.  
  
"It's true. Everything Ethan says is true. We saw Leah in the passenger seat of this green jeep. And I'm quite positive she saw both of us by the look of her face. She looked like she was going to have a heart attack."  
"Okay fine! Let's just SAY Leah s back in town. It's obvious that she's not back to see Ethan because she would have come by now. Remember the summer she worked at the inn, she came to visit us the first day! She even sent me a letter telling me about her visit. I haven't gotten anything nor seen her drive up to the farm." Charity did not know how to respond. Was she trying to avoid my family? Ethan? Even me? But we were so close before. As she thought more and more, her feelings and thoughts became entangled in a spider's web.  
  
"I don't think she chose to come here." Elizabeth stood up and walked around the barn. "Maybe she has a new job in town and was forced to move."  
  
"Still, that doesn't change that she's trying to avoid all of us." Simeon was confused but understood that she and Ethan had a very painful ending. "But it's understandable after everything that happened, right?"  
  
"Yeah. But after seeing her again after so long, it just aches my heart to pretend I never saw her today." Ethan's emotions were entwined in an utter mess with his thoughts.  
  
Their conversation was cut short when there was a gentle ramping on the barn door. Elizabeth gently opened the door and smiled convincingly, scared that it was her father or mother. Instead, it was even worse, it was Martha Dewberry! Elizabeth slowly walked back to where she was sitting and Martha gracefully glided in. "Hello Ethan dear!" As she walked up to Ethan's side and softly kissed him on his cheek and sat down beside him. Everyone looked at her in silence, except Ethan who turned away, pretending to be fascinated by something on the loft.  
  
"What's wrong? You're all so quiet now. When I was walking up to the barn it sounded as if you were having a party or something with all the noise and talking! Now, it sounds like someone died!" Martha glanced back at the Longacre children and shot them a curious glare.  
  
"Oh nothing... sweetie!" Ethan laughed weakly and smiled back her. 'Sweetie', he thought. The word sent shudders down his back. He had never quiet adjusted to calling Martha his 'sweetie' but she can asked him to when they began to date. 'It makes for a better relationship Ethan' she explained but he never quite understood how. He had always suspected that she wanted people to know clearly that he was hers.  
  
"Well okay. So what were you all talking about before I came in?" Martha asked curiously. She always felt awkward with Ethan's siblings as if they were comparing constantly to the angelic Leah. Just thinking of that name made her sick to her stomach. She knew that his sisters and brothers had exceedingly enjoyed Leah's company.  
  
The Longacre children looked at each other and smiled awkwardly back at Martha in silence. Ethan smiled at her and let loose a forced laugh. "Well... look at the time! Didn't you say you wanted to go out tonight, Sweetie?" Ethan squirmed under the forceful look of Martha. "Let's go now!"  
  
"Very well. Let's go into town!" Martha jumped up happily knowing she was spending the rest of the day with Ethan, Her Ethan. She smiled a great smile and took him by his hand and dragged him out to the buggy.  
  
As Ethan jogged to keep up with her, he gasped for air and he tried to speak in between. "But! Dear... town... very bad... go... to... other...place!"  
  
They came to a sudden jolt and Martha quickly turned to him. "Why?" She has always been very protective over Her Ethan even though, she knew perfectly well that Leah was out of their lives for good but she couldn't help but worry sometimes when Ethan looked as if he was thinking about something besides their relationship.  
  
"Well... it's almost dark and I know how you don't like riding in the buggy for long distances without any lights!" He smiled innocently and kissed her on the forehead, trying to avoid her suspicion.  
  
"Very well... let's just go for a walk then you can have dinner at my house!" She smiled and skipped away, dragging Ethan with her like a puppet doll.  
  
Back at the barn, Ethan's sisters and brother carried on the conversation about what they should do about Leah's reappearance. They were all confused and unsure of how or what to think or feel.  
  
"I think it's great that Leah is back! I was never a fan of Martha," reasoned Simeon who had always enjoyed Leah's outgoing and fun personality much more. He had always had many suspicions about Ethan's 'sweetie'.  
  
"Martha is a nice girl! Don't be mean! She's always nice to everyone," said Charity but she knew Martha was often very fake when she was with a large group of people. However, behind closed doors in private, she had a different personality, one she was not much in favour of. But she tried her best to get along with her since she was with Jonas and she was his younger sister. She sighed as she thought about life years before when she truly pictured Leah as her sister-in-law. How those days of passed, thought Charity.  
  
"Well it's out of our hands! We can't make Ethan do anything he doesn't want to." Elizabeth had made up her mind in staying out of the circle of drama and romance.  
  
"We better get back to our chores before Pa or Ma begins to wonder where we've disappeared to!" Simeon quickly stood up and walked back to the house.  
  
The three Longacre children walked back to the house in silence but all had the same thought. They all realized that Ethan had made his choice and that was the end of it. 


	6. The Meeting

"Tillie?" Jacob Longacre looked at his wife as they sat at the dining table.  
  
"Yes, dear? Is everything wrong? You've been acting odd ever since you first went to visit your relative a few weeks ago. Everything is okay... isn't it?" Tillie became concerned. Jacob has greatly aged over the past few months and it greatly worried her.  
  
"My relative? Oh yes! He's doing well. Nothing to worry about dear, "said Mr. Longacre quickly, trying to cover his lapse. He had forgotten that he had told his family he was visiting a relative when he really went to the doctor's at the hospital.  
  
"Well okay. But what were you going to ask me?"  
  
"Ethan." He didn't know how to put his thoughts in words. Ever since seeing Leah again after so long and after everything that had happened between her and his son, he began to have many personal reflections.  
  
"Yes. I wonder too." She knew exactly how her husband felt. The end of their son's relationship with Leah was very bitter sweet but she supported her family, especially her husband and stand by him for teaching and upholding the ways of the Amish to their children. "But it was right for Ethan to come home. Do not doubt yourself, I don't doubt you." She smiled endearingly at her husband and returned to preparing supper.  
  
"Thank-you. That's the answer I needed." He gently placed a soft kiss on his wife's velvet lips and quietly walked outside.  
  
"Leah, have some more potatoes! You need more food for energy. You'll be starting work tomorrow. You'll be around sick people all day and you'll need to be one hundred percent! Come on! Eat up! There's no need to be polite. We're all going to be a family so do not hesitant at all!" Mrs. Barlow smiled sweetly as she handed Leah the bowl of mashed potatoes.  
  
Leah had recovered from the shock and disbelief after seeing Ethan this afternoon and calmed herself with reason. This town isn't THAT small and I'm sure he's done his little 'fling' and has gotten baptized and will rarely come into town... minus today, thought Leah. "Oh thank-you and don't worry, I'll be fine for tomorrow!" She held the bowl and took a huge scoop of it and placed it strategically on her plate and passed it on to Maxine. "So you two, ready for school tomorrow?" She glanced at Maxine and Brian and smiled.  
  
"Err... sure why not," responded Brian as he began to eat his salad.  
  
"Oh Leah! Can't you see?! I'm already jumping for joy!" Everyone laughed as they all began to eat their dinner. Maxine was always very sarcastic with a free spirit.  
  
Before they all knew it, Monday morning arrived and everyone rushed out of bed and got ready for school and work.  
  
Bam! Bam! Bam! "Brian! Hurry up! I need the bathroom!" Maxine continued to scream as Leah sat downstairs in the kitchen sipping a warm cup of soothing coffee, her life-line.  
  
Eventually, everyone was ready and set to start their Monday morning. Leah got into her convertible with Belinda and dropped off Brian and Maxine at school and drove to the new office, where Dr. Barlow was waiting for them. "Good morning ladies!"  
  
The three of them quickly got into work by seeing the long list of patients, performing many routine examinations and a few booster shots here and there. For most of the day, she spent at the receptionist's desk as Belinda often was the one that helped the Doc since she was a fully qualified nurse. As the morning faded away and the afternoon was born, she became extremely bored. She suddenly caught notice of the appointment list for today and scrolled down it and was hit again in shock. Is this a test? You must be TRYING to kill me here, she thought. Her eyes saw nothing but...  
  
Appointment Time: 3:30  
Patient Name: Jacob Longacre  
Patient Number: 451679113  
  
Her heart nearly skipped five beats as she promptly looked up at the clock. It read "3:25". I still have time! I can take a break and come back once he leaves, thought Leah. But just as she ended that thought, there was a ding, ding at the door and Ethan's father had walked in. She hadn't seen him since they bumped into each other at the hospital months before.  
  
"Afternoon Leah," said Mr. Longacre. He had always been very stiff with her, never rude, always polite, but never very welcoming.  
  
"H-H-H-Hi Mr. Long-acre..." uttered Leah as she grasped the top of her desk, trying to relief the blow. After a minute of many enormous gasps of air, she was managed to speak properly again. "I thought you didn't want your family to know you were seeing a doctor? Isn't it a bit dangerous if the doctor is in the same town?" She became very curious as she studied him.  
  
"Smart girl. But Dr. Barlow has been seeing me for the past months and I prefer that I stick with the same doctor. Plus, this saves me a lot of bus fare now that I don't have to travel all the way to Indianapolis!" He nodded politely and sat down in an empty chair in the waiting area.  
  
The door of the first examination room swung open and Dr. Barlow walked out swiftly. "Good afternoon Mr. Longacre! Come right in! Oh Leah, can you please pick up Brian and Maxine at school? Mrs. Barlow just called and she says she has a lot of paperwork to do. Who knew it was so challenging to be a librarian!"  
  
For the next two months, Leah's life fell into a simple routine. Wake up at 7, work at 8, lunch at 12, and it ended with picking up Brian and Maxine from school. Also, every Monday afternoons at exactly 3:25 PM Mr. Longacre would walk in and they would share a few polite words and she would leave to pick up the kids. It was the same every weekday... until one Friday.  
  
The door of the first examination room swung open as usual and Dr. Barlow walked out swiftly as he always did and cheerfully said, "Good afternoon Mr. Longacre! Come right in!" Leah was waiting for the usual 'Oh Leah, can you please pick up Brian and Maxine at school?' but instead, he turned around and walked into the examination room with Mr. Longacre.  
  
In confusion, she walked up to the room and knocked quietly. He opened the door and asked, "Is everything alright? You seem confused?"  
  
"Well Doc, you normally ask me to pick up Max and Brian at school but today you didn't..."  
  
"Oh right! I forgot to tell you! They're eating dinner with one of their friend's family and won't be home until later tonight." He smiled and began to talk with Mr. Longacre.  
  
She went back to her seat and noticed that the Doc did not close the examination room's door completely and she could hear their conversation faintly.  
  
"Well... Jacob. I wish I could say your health is improving  
but it's not. Your blood pressure is still slowly rising and if  
it reaches the top, well... I've already clarified with you the  
consequences."  
  
"Yes I know Dr. Barlow but you told me to take it easy and  
not do anything that is physically demanding but I'm a farmer.  
Farming is my life and my farm means everything to me. I just  
can't leave it by itself."  
  
"I know Jacob. But you have two sons who can tend to it.  
You need your rest now before it's too late."  
  
"Look! I've explained to you many times that a farm is  
very big and you need all the help I can get. Ethan is engaged  
and he'll probably be moving out soon and it's almost time for  
the harvest! You cannot tell me to forget my roots! I am Amish  
an Amish I will remain!"  
  
Just then, Mr. Longacre pulled the door and muttered under his breath as his anger raged and he walked out of the office.  
  
She walked into the examination room and sat down. "It's okay Doc. You cannot change the beliefs of a man, I tried, failed, and I've moved on. The Amish are strong in their beliefs; you cannot try to teach them to go against them."  
  
"You... how do you..." asked Dr. Barlow curiously but she cut him off before he could finish asked her.  
  
"The door was slightly open and I overheard. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." He nodded and they all packed up their things and went home.  
  
That night at dinner, there was an awkward silence as everyone slowly ate their food. "Well... Doc I'll be going to Indianapolis early tomorrow morning and I'll be back next week. Will you be okay with out me?" Belinda was visiting her family who had come from Ireland.  
  
"Don't worry. I'll have Leah; she'll give me plenty of assistance. This reminds me. Since we're talking about help, Leah, can you please pick up the kids?" He handed her a badly drawn map. "I would go but my back is aching me and Mrs. Barlow needs to finish cleaning up and Belinda will need rest since she's leaving in the early morning."  
  
"Okay." She grabbed her jacket and strolled into her car and started the engine. She began to drive, following the vague instructions that came with the messy map. Brian must have drawn it, she thought. She continued to drive and soon entered the driveway of a farm. She had had a very long day and was extremely tired but she had obviously underestimated her fatigue when she looked up and saw that she was face to face with her past. She was in front of the Longacre farm. She honked once hoping she would not have to go inside to find Maxine and Brian.  
  
The front door opened as the kids ran out. "Leah! Leah! Come! You HAVE to look at this!" Brian was jumping with excitement as he grabbed Leah and dragged her towards the farm. She tried to convince him to see whatever it was another time but she could not outside his pleas. She quickly decided to follow him, hoping the sooner she saw the sooner they could all leave.  
  
Brian pulled her into the barn, where she saw Maxine. They were surrounding a large black and white diary cow but there was something else... a baby calf was being born! They all stared in amazement as they watched the birth of new life!  
  
After the birth, there was a burst of 'oh's and 'ah's. "Well... let's go Max and Brian! Your mom and dad will be waiting," said Leah but regretting it right after!  
  
"Leah?" A voice came up behind her and a hand gently touched the smooth curve of her shoulder. She slowly turned around, breathing heavily.  
  
"Ethan..." 


	7. Advice

bA/N: Please go to my writer's profile for any updates or thoughts on my story.b  
  
Ethan had just thankfully finished enduring a long night with his 'beloved' Martha. He helped pass the time by thinking about other things besides the fact he knew he did not feel for Martha the way one in love would. He began to deliberate between his different options... Should he go looking for Leah? Patiently wait until Leah comes to him so he won't embarrass himself... but wait! Embarrassment... isn't that only felt when your pride was hurt? He was Amish; pride was the last thing he should feel! He soon realized that the time he spent with Leah and her world, away from his own, had changed him. But the question was... for better or for worse? He sighed and became utterly confused, entangled in his own thoughts and emotions.  
  
He slowly approached his family's farm, the farm he would eventually inherit when time comes to an end for his beloved parents, God bless their souls. He jumped off the buggy and walked to the front door. "Evening everyone!" He was glad to be home but was surprised to be greeted with silence and the dark caused by the lack of light. He walked to the kitchen and saw a glowing of candles and oil lamps at the barn door and realized the birth of a calf was taking place!  
  
He walked swiftly towards to the barn and began to see several silhouettes. The figures outnumbered the usual Longacre family. He became confused and began to walk quicker. As he hastily approached the barn, he saw the light of the oil lamps reflect off the dark, silky locks of brown hair of a girl. There is absolutely no possible way that she is standing there, he quickly said to himself. But as he was steps away from this mysterious girl, the mystery soon unfolded and he knew that it was her, His Leah. His heart beats accelerated with unimaginable pace, even skipping a beat or two at some points.  
  
As he stood behind her, he watched her in silence, in peace, believing she may disappear any moment at the blink of an eye. He watched as the silky soft locks slowly moved from side to side. He gathered up the courage to gently place his hand on the smooth curve of her shoulder and whisper her name softly.  
  
She slowly turned around to face him and for a minute, it seemed like the world stopped and she slowly responded by quietly whispering his name as she gazed up into the depths of his bright blue eyes. Ethan tenderly stroked her soft, silken hair as it gently hung beside her smooth cheek.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Leah woke up Saturday morning to the smell of freshly baked bread. As she rolled around in bed, trying to gather her energy, there was a gentle knocking on her door, which was followed by Maxine poking her head through the door. "Mornin' Leah, may I come in?"  
  
"Oh, hi Max. Yeah, come in!" She sat up as Max sat down on the edge of bed. "You can't believe what I dreamt of last night! I thought I saw Ethan at his barn but that's crazy!" She smiled at her friend, expecting to receive a smile back but it never came.  
  
"Leah... I don't want to be the one to burst your bubble but it wasn't EXACTLY a dream you had last night..." She stared at Leah nervously as she watched the thought seep in.  
  
"Oh boy! No wonder I remember everything so vividly," she said as her friend nodded back. Leah began to think back to last night, wishing it was a dream...  
  
As Ethan tenderly stroked her soft, silken hair as it  
gently hung beside her smooth cheek, her heart began to beat a  
million beats per minute. How could this be happening! What am  
I going to do? I tried to avoid this day for four years and  
I've been pretty good at it until now. But then again, it felt  
so good just to gaze up into the depths of his clear, blue eyes  
and have him close to me. I feel so safe and happy, she  
thought.  
  
Unfortunately, her anxiety and unease took off and she  
swiftly backed away. Max had noticed her friend no longer  
wanted to be there and quickly volunteered to drive home.  
"Well... lovely night. We should be getting home. Mom and Dad  
will be waiting. Brain into the car...now!" She then glanced over  
to her friend, "Leah, are you ready to go?"  
  
With a quick nod in response, she pulled her by her sleeve  
and led her to the car. She was about to close the door when  
someone running towards them yelled out, "Leah! Wait!"  
  
After a few seconds, Ethan appeared from the dark of the  
night and swiftly ran to the car. "Please... stay! I want to  
talk to you. Please don't go yet."  
  
She turned to him, trying to hold back tears, as she said,  
"It is late."  
  
"But, please... will you come by tomorrow? I really want to  
talk about you... about us..."  
  
"No, I am busy tomorrow. If you REALLY wanted to talk,  
you've had four years worth of opportunity and you've turned  
them down. I have nothing to say to you" as she got into the  
door and closed it behind her. They drove off into the late  
night as Ethan watched on in grief and heartache.  
  
Maxine looked at her friend kindly, "Are you going to be okay? Are you going to leave and go back to Indianapolis now? I talked to my Dad and he said it would be okay if that's what you really want to do... is it?" She had always wanted to have an older sister and she was very excited to find out that Leah would be coming with her family to Nappanee. Now, she hoped that she would be okay to stay and be able to cope with the 'Ethan' dilemma.  
  
"Don't worry. He lives in his Amish world and I live in my 'English' world. They can never mix. And, the chances of me seeing him again... excluding the time we saw him and his brother in the buggy... are little to none. I'll be okay. I just need sometime to digest everything that happened. Just give me sometime but thanks for caring so much." She smiled and hugged Max as they both went downstairs.  
  
The weekend quickly passed and it was time to get back to work. Since Belinda was on leave of absence, she was now the only nurse to help Dr. Barlow. She drove to the office by herself and would be staying there until five until Belinda comes back. Mrs. Barlow is going to leave work a bit earlier to pick up the kids. She opened the door and walked in and was greeted by a warm smile. "Good morning Leah!"  
  
"Mornin' Doc. I am ready to get to work."  
  
"I'm glad to hear. So everything is okay... Max told me you ran into a 'situation' you might say."  
  
"Oh yeah. I'm fine. Don't worry about it, I'm long over it." She quickly flashed a smile to hide her unease. She was no longer deeply affected by the memory of seeing him again but she did often think of what he wanted to talk about. Maybe he's engaged already. To Martha! Or maybe... he's already married with two kids! Wait... this shouldn't even concern me. Focus! Focus on the job at hand, I must help the Doc with his patients, she thought and she was back into her right frame of mind and began to work.  
  
The morning flew by as they saw each and every patient and she began to become very tired. Who knew nursing would be this hard on your body, she thought.  
  
Early in the afternoon, there was a gap in the appointments, which gave her and the Doc a bit of time for a break. "Wow! I must say, you're pretty good at being a nurse. You know what you're doing! I'm very impressed and you're only a student."  
  
"Thanks Doc! You're good too... then again you did go through eight years of schooling... but you still got it in you!"  
  
They both laughed. "So... what exactly happened the other night?" He had always greatly enjoyed working with Leah over the past few months and he thought of himself as a 'fatherly' figure in her life since her mom has been marrying every other man. He wanted to provide Leah with a more stable life with a more permanent lifestyle.  
  
Leah explained everything that happened on Friday night and quickly summarized her past with the town, trying to avoid too much detail.  
  
"Oh, wow! I wouldn't even have been able to utter one word to him! I'd be so nervous! But you are very strong, I'm impressed. Do you think you'd ever talk to each other again?"  
  
"I don't know, Doc. It's just so complicated. And he knows where I've been for the last four years, yet, no letters, telephone calls, visits, nothing, nadda! He only wants to 'talk' now because I'm conveniently in town now."  
  
"Well... you did say the Amish are very strict on the rules, especially Mr. Longacre. Maybe he did want to visit you but he didn't want to disappoint his father."  
  
"Maybe... but I still think he should have sent a letter at least."  
  
"What about you? Hmm...?"  
  
"What about me?" She wondered why Dr. Barlow seemed to be favouring Ethan's defence more than hers.  
  
"Look... you're complaining that he's never said or done anything to show any signs in the last four years. But he's thinking the same way... but about you! You could have sent him a letter or paid a visit to him. The ball was in your court too..." He tried to open her eyes up to both sides of the situation, hoping she could understand Ethan's actions more.  
  
"Why would I do that? He was the one that left ME! He promised we'd be together forever but I don't see him keeping his side of the deal..." How could the Doc be on his side! I'm the one he should be siding with, she thought.  
  
"Boys are stubborn! Trust me, I should know!" He smiled at her kindly. "When boys do something wrong, especially to a girl, they get embarrassed and shy and they don't know how to fix it. And they would never get enough guts to apologize; their pride and ego are much too big for that. You should talk to him; maybe he'll be the few who have the courage to say the big, five-letter word... S-O-R-R-Y... just give him a chance..."  
  
"Well... I guess you have a point. The worse that could happen... I end up closing my car door on him... again." She thought about that image and smiled. "Thanks Doc."  
  
"Anytime kiddo." They hugged just as the door opened with another patient. "Ah, here's my three o'clock patient. I don't need any help with this one; you can take a break at the desk." He led the patient, an elderly woman, into the examination room and Leah slowly walked to her desk and sat down.  
The next time she looked at the clock, it read: 3:24 PM. As she watched the second hand go around, it finally became 3:25 PM. And in walked Mr. Longacre as usual but Dr. Barlow was not finished with the elderly woman so she was forced to talk to him. "Good afternoon Mr. Longacre. Dr. Barlow hasn't finished with his previous patient so you'll have to wait a few minutes."  
  
"Good afternoon Leah. I'll just take a seat then." Just as he was about to sit down, he changed his mind and walked back to the desk. "Actually... Leah... I wanted to talk to you about something. About Friday night."  
  
Oh great, she thought. "Ummm... okay then."  
  
"Ethan... he's still... I don't know how to word this. He's engaged to Martha and I want him to get married. But I don't want you to be on the back of his mind. I ask that you... give him a chance to speak his peace so everything can be settled and cleared up. Is that okay?"  
  
What was he asking me to do? Is he insane... lost his mind?! But the Doc did say that I should give him a chance, she thought. "Okay... When would you like me to come by?"  
  
"This Friday... come for dinner and you two can talk afterwards." And with a nod of the head he went back to the waiting room.  
  
She sighed and wondered what she was getting herself into. She thought, isn't life grand and she began to prepare herself for events that will happen at Friday night dinner.  
  
bA/N: Please review! I love to see your feedback! Thanks! ( b 


	8. Friday Reunion

"Well Leah... tonight's the big night. Are you ready to revisit your past?" Dr. Barlow asked as he and Leah were cleaning some of his medical instruments during a break. She expected the week to inch slowly with her fear swelling and her anxiety and anticipation steadily growing however, the week had flown by and before she knew it, Friday night's arrival soon came.  
  
Leah's stomach churned at the thought of conversing with the Longacre family, specifically Ethan. The Longacre family had always been very polite and kind to me but there has always been a wall of distance separating me from them but it made sense since we were very two very different worlds, she thought. "Well... even if I wasn't ready, I don't have a choice now, right?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm sure everything will run smoothly. You'll speak to Ethan... and everything will be put to rest and have a final and proper end. Tonight will be fine, there's nothing to worry about," said Dr. Barlow in response as he smiled kindly to her.  
  
"I hope you're right Doc!"  
  
He looked up at the clock and it said four o'clock. "Hmm... maybe you should leave now and get ready for dinner. It's going to take a few minutes to get there anyways and there's not much work left here so you should call it a day and go back to the house."  
  
"Are you sure Doc? Because I can stay for a bit longer, it's not a problem!"  
  
"Don't worry... go on now!" He began to make a shooing motion as Leah slowly gathered her things and went to her car.  
  
When she drove up to the driveway, she was quickly greeted by Maxine. "Finally! I've been waiting for you since I got home! I was wondering when you were coming home to get ready for your big dinner... so what are you going to wear? Simple? Fancy? No wait... they're Amish... simple folk... What about -- What?" Her endless babbling and rambling was interrupted by Leah's overwhelmed look.  
  
"Look Max... slow down now! It's just a normal dinner. I'm going to wear a pair of black jeans and a plain white t-shirt. That's it! It's not rocket science... just a dinner. We'll talk in my room. Come on..." They both walked into Leah's room as she began to wash up.  
  
"So... is it going to be weird tonight? Facing your past?" Max sat down on the bed as began playing with the pillow Charity had made for Leah.  
  
"I guess it would be... it's been four years of no communication and we left on very... very unexpected terms. But I think the faster I get through tonight, the faster everything to be put to a final end."  
  
"Yeah... I'd be freaking out right now if I were you. I'd be so nervous and start pacing the room and become very paranoid."  
  
"Thanks for the great advice." She laughed and began to brush the soft locks of her dark brown hair.  
  
"I mean I, personally, would be freaking out. Not you! You're a pro! You'll do fine tonight. You have nothing to worry about." She smiled innocently, hoping she did not worry her friend.  
  
They both laughed as Leah gave Max a hug and was out the door. She began to drive to the Longacre farm towards the past that has now become the present. Who said turning back time was impossible?  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
"You did what?! Papa... but I do not understand. I thought you wanted me to stay away from the world of the English... away from Leah. Now you're telling me you've invited her to dinner tonight? I am confused." Ethan always wanted to please his father but this news went against everything he believed his father wanted.  
  
"I want you to choose and live in the ways of our plain people but I do not want you to pursue a life when you're heart, mind, and soul belongs somewhere else. I want you two to talk and clear things up before we begin to make arrangements for you and Martha. By inviting her here tonight, I am not encouraging you to leave with her. Be clear of that," said Mr. Longacre sternly as he finished the last few chores for the day in the barn.  
  
"Very well Papa." He nodded and returned to his work.  
  
Before long, the men of the Longacre family were done their day's chores and were cleaning up for tonight's supper and the women of the house were busy cooking and preparing the food. When Charity's parents were focusing their attention away from her, she quickly ran out of the house towards to barn to talk to her older brother. "Mama told me about tonight. Is it true Leah is coming tonight for dinner?" It had been many years since she has seen her dear friend and she had greatly missed their talks together.  
  
"Yes it is. Sister, I do not know what I should do. I feel like running away but my heart aches to see the gentle curves of her face and touch the soft surface of her arm." He sighed as he sat down on a nearby chair.  
  
"I am sure you are confused right now but everything will clear up. You must be honest about your feelings and do not try to pretend anything."  
  
"I will be honest. I could never pretend with her. I hope you are right sister."  
  
"Right about what, dear?" With a sudden jolt to his mind, Ethan was shocked to see Martha walk in the barn.  
  
"Oh nothing. What are you doing here tonight?" He suddenly realized what he had just said and quickly tried to cover it. "I mean... You look so beautiful tonight... you should be out!" He smiled unconvincingly as he swiftly flew a worried glance at his sister.  
  
"Oh I just dropped by to see you. I would have thought your mama would invite me to stay for dinner but when I entered the kitchen, she almost looked like she was going to have a heart attack. And your father looked as if he was going to faint. It was very odd... is there something wrong, dear?"  
  
"Oh no! My parents were probably surprised to see you because they weren't expecting you... that's all... sweetie." He smiled trying to look innocent as he glanced towards the door trying avoiding Martha's eye contact.  
  
"Well okay then. I'll be off then. I'll see you later dear." She gave Ethan a quick kiss on the cheek and walked out of the barn.  
  
Once Martha was well out of earshot, Charity let out a huge sigh of relief. "Ethan... if she stayed for dinner... well... you can imagine what would happen! I still don't understand why you're with her!"  
  
"I wonder sometimes myself... but it is the right choice," he said but he had many doubts and questions about his relationship with Martha.  
  
They talked for a few more minutes before they heard Elizabeth calling for them to come inside for supper. "Well sister... here goes!" And with a deep breath, Ethan began to walk towards the house with Charity quickly following.  
  
Once Ethan entered the house, he was surprised but also, disappointed to see that Leah had not arrived. "Papa... I thought you said you invited Leah for supper..." He sat down between his father and Simeon.  
  
"Yes Son, I did. It seems she is running late I --" Mr. Longacre was interrupted by the gentle knocking on their door. It was Leah. Charity quickly went to answer the door and hugged her friend immediately.  
  
"It's great to see you again! I have so much to talk to you about! I simply cannot wait!" She had promised her brother that she would not keep in touch with Leah but seeing her again after all these years was too emotional for her to ignore. Both girls began to tear up as they hugged each other with laughs and smiles.  
  
Once the girls finally let go of each other, Leah explained, "Sorry I'm late. When I was driving up to the farm, I bumped into Martha and I wanted to drive on because I didn't want to be late but Martha insisted on talking for a few minutes. I'm really sorry I'm late."  
  
"It's quite alright Leah. It's good to see you again. Please have a seat." Mrs. Longacre came up behind her and smiled politely.  
  
Soon the entire Longacre family plus Leah were eating quietly around the dinner table. There was little to no conversation as everyone ate, which was normal for an Amish family during a meal, Leah had learned after the first time she stayed for dinner when she working in Nappanee for the summer. However, this dinner seemed very tense and awkward. Leah tried to avoid everyone's eye contact, most of all Ethan's. Fortunately, she was comforted by Charity's smiles and encouragement to eat some more.  
  
After dinner was finished, the men retired to the sitting room while the women began to clean up in the dining room and kitchen. Leah helped out but after a few minutes, Charity took her outside as they began to catch up with everything they've missed.  
  
"Oh Leah! It's so good to see you again... it has been so long..." She smiled endearingly as she began to sit down on one of the steps on her back porch.  
  
"It has... I would have written to you but I didn't know what to say... it became so complicated after everything... you know..."  
  
"Yes... but how have you been? Are you still in school?"  
  
"Oh yeah... I'm in college... studying to become a nurse."  
  
"Wow! Molly must have influenced greatly but she was very kind to you when you were in the hospital... even to Rebekah! I'll never forget her thoughtfulness." Her eyes began to tear up at the thought of her late sister but held back her tears but it was evident that she was shaken.  
  
Leah quickly put her arm around her and consoled her. "She's in a better place... she's happier watching over us..."  
  
"Yes I know..." She sniffed and collected herself. "Don't worry... I've adjusted to not seeing her but once in awhile it'll get to me. I'll be fine."  
  
"So what's new with you? Are you still with Jonas?"  
  
Charity smiled and began to blush at the mention of Jonas' name. "We are engaged now."  
  
"Wow! That's great! Congratulations! When's the wedding?"  
"We're still unsure. Amish weddings usually take place during November or December... after the harvest when there is less work to do on the farm. However, it is too late now to make preparation for a wedding this year. So it will probably take place next year in the late autumn. I cannot wait until I am married to Jonas."  
  
Leah could see the sparkle in her friend's eye and knew she was in love and very happy. "That's great to hear! I'm sure you two will be extremely happy!"  
  
"Thank-you! You must come! You cannot miss it! Will you please come? It'll mean a lot to me."  
  
"Of course I'll come! How could I miss it!" She smiled and was glad her friend still wanted her to be in her life after such a long time apart.  
  
"But there's also something must happen before I can get married."  
  
"Oh, what is it? Can I help?"  
  
"Ethan is engaged to Martha... And..."  
  
"He is? Oh... I never knew that..." After four years of not seeing him, she thought she had gotten over their love but her past came back to haunt her. With this news, her heart took another blow as her feelings began to go up and down on an emotional rollercoaster.  
  
"But they're not REALLY engaged..."  
  
"You just said they were though... They are or aren't? You're confusing me here..."  
  
"Ethan has gotten baptized yet... he was close but something happened that stopped him. And now... Papa wants him to be baptized and he can make the engagement official. And Papa wants Ethan to be baptized before I get married to Jonas."  
  
Leah wondered about what happened that made Ethan change his mind about not getting baptized but she didn't ask her friend, she didn't want to pry. "Oh... but why does he have to be baptized before you get married? His baptism doesn't affect you though..."  
  
"Papa wants both of to have a double wedding... that's why."  
  
"Oh... I see... Well... is he planning on getting baptized anytime soon?" She was very confused in her own thoughts and feelings.  
  
"I don't know. He speaks very little about it."  
  
Their conversation was cut short when the back door soon opened and Ethan appeared. "Charity, Mama needs your help with the dishes. Come back inside!"  
  
"Oh! I've lost all track of time." She smiled and glanced at Leah as she said, "We will talk some more later. I need to help Mama now..." And she swiftly went back into the house towards the kitchen.  
  
Leah stood up, planning to go back into the house when Ethan walked towards her. "Please Leah. Come take a walk with me... I want to talk to you..." Ethan's heart beat quickened to a million times per second as his nerves began to tremble frantically.  
  
Here goes, Leah thought. "Errr... Okay. I guess we should talk."  
  
They both began to slowly walk as they both prepared to have their talk. 


	9. The Talk

A/N: I made slight changes to the previous version of Chapter Nine because I didn't like some of the original dialogue so I took it out. This is the new and current version. Please ignore the previous one. Thanks  
  
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It was a cool night with a gentle breeze. The sky was clear as the moo shone through the dark waves of the night sky with twinkling stars shining through. Leah and Ethan walked towards the barn in an awkward silence but she could tell that he was nervous by his heavy breathing. The walked an arm's distance away with a wall of awkwardness in between their bodies. The unease and uncomfortable silence was finally broken when Ethan finally spoke. "So how are you?"  
  
"I'm good. I plan to become a nurse; I'm in college now. I'm taking some time off school right now. So, how about you?"  
  
"I'm also good. I'm quite busy on the farm with the harvest and everything. You'll be a great nurse just like Molly." He smiled as they approached the barn.  
  
"You still remember her?" Molly had been the nurse that took care of her when she was at the hospital, where she first met the Longacre family, most of all, Ethan. Molly had been her inspiration to become a nurse and care for people who were ill.  
  
"How could I forget ever her? Or the hospital... I'll never forget that it was where I met --" He quickly stopped himself before uttering "you". I'm with Martha! I'm with Martha! I'm with Martha, he kept thinking to himself. He quickly tried to cover himself by explaining it was where he first met an English person.  
  
Leah knew him very well and could tell he was trying to lie, something he was horrible at, especially with her. "Ethan... we've grown up a lot since we've last seen each other. We don't have to pretend nothing ever happened between us because we both know it's over and done with. You don't have to try to avoid the situation." She sounded as if she was an adult who was mature but deep down her heart ached for Ethan and she burst with joy when he mentioned he would never forget the hospital... or her.  
  
"You are right Leah. Since we are older now, we should be able to talk about things like normal adults." He nodded and looked towards the sky. She noticed that he avoided her eye contact and often talked to the air rather than towards her face.  
  
"It's a nice night! The stars are out, brightly shining."  
  
"It is... So... are you here in town for long?"  
  
"I'm helping out a doctor I worked with back at the hospital. I'll be here for quite awhile... not sure exactly how long."  
  
"Oh I see... so are you seeing anyone now?"  
  
"You mean dating? As in a boyfriend?" She found it interesting that he would ask her that question and wondered why he brought up the subject.  
  
He reddened with embarrassment. "Yes... a boyfriend."  
  
She smiled, knowing Ethan was still the same shy Ethan she said goodbye to. "No, not at the moment. I've dated lots of guys..." She glanced to see that he seemed uncomfortable at the thought and quickly tried to ease his unease. "But nothing serious ever happened."  
  
"How many have you dated? It is hard to have feelings for so many people. There should only one or two that are special to you." He found it hurtful to know that Leah had dated many other people and began to wonder if he was just another person on her list.  
  
"Not THAT many. A few here and there. One or two dates with each of them, nothing more... It's different in the English world... you go on a lot of dates. But only a few are special and those few are the serious relationships that last longer..."  
  
"How many were special?" He sparked an interest and was curious to know where he stood compared to the others she has dated.  
  
"Not very many. Actually... only one that really sticks out." He looked down at her in curiosity and she smiled back innocently. "But... that was a long time ago."  
  
"Are you talking about... us?"  
  
"Yeah, believe it or not, even with your odd simple ways you were special to me." She smiled as she noticed his face blush with embarrassment. "But that's in the past. I hear you and Martha are quite close. Engaged and everything... I'm glad. You deserve a nice Amish girl." She tried her best to sound supportive and happy for him. Well I am happy for him. He got what he wanted... an Amish girl and I want him to be happy... even if he's happier when he loves someone else. But I Martha could have been me. Why was I born English! But I want him to be happy, end of story, she thought to herself.  
  
He was confused with many emotions as he processed all his thoughts. He was surprised when she told him she was glad. Was he nothing but a burden to her? But of course he was, he took up so many months of her life and he left her in the end anyways. His reasons for being with Martha were renewed as he watched Leah smile. However, deep down he had always wanted to stay in the English world. "Err... Yes... Thank-you. So how did you hear about the engagement?"  
  
"Your sister told me and your father hinted it to me when I..." She quickly realized no one knew that Mr. Longacre had been seeing a doctor for the past few months so she quickly made up a story about bumping into him in town. He nodded and she quickly steered the conversation away from her 'meeting' with Mr. Longacre. "Before when I saw you on the weekend when I was picking up Maxine and Brian, you said you wanted to talk. What about?"  
  
"Oh... umm..." When he was put on the spot he became lost in his thoughts. He wanted deep down to tell her how he felt about her but he couldn't gather up the courage. "Oh nothing! I just wanted to catch up on everything. It has been four years since we've last seen each other. I just wanted to know what was happening in your life, that's all..."  
  
"It didn't seem like anything when you saw me. It seemed quite urgent and important. If you wanted to catch up, I don't think you would have ran after me like you did... And you do know that you're a horrible liar." She hoped that he would give her some sign that he still thought of her the same way but it didn't seem to be swaying towards her hopes. He seemed very happy back on the farm with his family and sadly, with Martha.  
  
"Yes, lying has never been my strength or my liking. I like to be honest." His thoughts and emotions became entangled as he tried to hold his tongue, hoping not to speak too much and accidentally reveal he has been thinking of her ever since he left the English world.  
  
"Good, so tell me what you wanted to talk to me about?"  
  
"I just wanted to talk to you again."  
  
She soon became annoyed by his vague answers that didn't explain anything. She tried to listen to the Doc's advice and try to understand where Ethan was coming from but she found it extremely hard when he was trying to avoid her questions. "You had four years worth of opportunity and chances of talking to me but you didn't take any of them."  
  
"Leah... please let me exp --" He tried his best to keep Leah calm and composed by her anger and frustration became enraged as they continued to talk.  
  
"No! Let me do the explaining to you. You left me and you said I would always be in your heart until angels close your eyes and that you loved me. I understood that you had to be with your family but after you left you don't know how hard it was for me. To return back to my life without you in, to have other people ask you what happened to you, and to start dating other guys that didn't even come close to measuring up to you. It was hard for me! But I did it and now you're here telling me you want to talk but now that I'm here you don't have anything to say to me? Look, I'm willing to talk but right now you're wasting my time!" Leah didn't realize that her anger was so great until she noticed that she was yelling. Her breaths became deep and heavy as she tried to control her emotions.  
  
Ethan stood there; taking in all of her words, and was stunned with disbelief and shock that left him speechless. He didn't know what to do or how to make her feel better. He was confused and lost and felt out of place. He wanted her to feel better but he knew that he was the one who was causing her pain and he soon realized that he had hurt her to great proportion and he began to feel horribly at fault. He was only able to speak two words. "I'm sorry."  
  
"You're sorry? I haven't been waiting all this time for an apology Ethan. After you left, you didn't send anything. No visit, no phone call, no letter. You just left me."  
  
"I wanted to write to you so many times but I was never able to gather the courage to send them to you. My heart and mind were all entangled with each other and I didn't know what I wanted."  
  
"There's a huge difference between wanting to and actually doing it. You didn't know what you wanted? What was I? An option you could pick from? Is Martha another option? Do you choose your different options depending on your mood?"  
  
"Of course not! I am not that type of person! Martha isn't an option, you aren't either."  
  
"Oh right... I was the fling and she's the real thing. Oh okay. I got it, I understand. Now that we've got that cleared up I'll be leaving now."  
  
"Wait... Leah. Please... don't go yet. Martha..." He couldn't lie or hold it in anymore, not to her, not to His Leah.  
  
"What about Martha? Is she pregnant too? Just want to throw me another curve ball?"  
  
"No of course not! Look... I understand you were very hurt after I left but I wasn't happy either. I'm not even happy now!"  
  
"You seem quite happy to me. You're with your family and you're engaged with the perfect Martha... life seems good to me..." Tears rolled down her eyes as she spoke in between her sniffing. "Look... I'm sorry I yelled. I just lost control over my emotions. I should leave now."  
  
"I don't blame you having these hateful feelings for me but I truly did care for you greatly and it pains to me know that I have hurt you so much. Leah, you must try to understand why I could never comeback to you... my family needed me... I couldn't let them be clothed in shame as my brother had done to them... you must understand..."   
"I do... You don't have to explain everything to me. I had no right to become to be so angry and yell. I should go... it's getting late. I'm going to go back inside and say thank-you and goodbye to your folks." Without looking at Ethan, she turned and walked back to the house.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
"You're leaving already? It's so soon though! Please stay for a bit longer. I would love to catch up some more." Charity smiled as she greeted Leah when she returned to the house.   
"I wish I could but I can't. The family I'm staying with will be waiting for me. It's good to see you all again and thank-you for a wonderful dinner!" The Longacre family nodded in response as she turned towards the door and walked to her car. "I'll come by once in awhile and we'll keep in touch. Don't worry; I'm not going to disappear." She smiled at her friend as she entered her car.   
"Goodnight Leah." Charity smiled and returned back into the house.   
As Leah started the engine and was about to put her car into gear, Ethan came running out of the house with a box in his hands the shape of a shoebox, more or less. She rolled down her window as Ethan spoke in between his gasping breaths. "You said before that I never sent you any letters, phoned you, or visited you. I hope this provides you some comfort or.... I don't know. Take this and go through it when you get home..."  
  
"Err... Okay... But you don't have to make me feel better. I'll be fine." She took the box and placed it on the passenger seat of her car.  
  
"Just go through it... please..." He smiled and quickly walked back to the house.  
  
Leah began to drive away and was confused by what Ethan had told her. And her curiosity grew as she wondered what was in the box. When she reached the main street of the town and was stopped by a red light, she turned to look at the medium-sized box and decided her curiosity could no longer wait. She picked it up and opened the top. Inside of if were pieces of paper... some folded, others not... some sealed and stamped in envelopes, and others were left in open envelopes. She looked at the front of the envelopes and they all were addressed to:  
  
Leah Lewis-Hall  
  
A/N: I love to hear your reviews! And if you have any suggestions, feel free to give them! Thanks! : ) 


	10. Leah's Decision

Dr. Barlow was watering some potted plants on the porch when he saw Leah drive in with her red convertible. He quickly finished his watering as she stepped out of her car holding the medium-sized box. "Hi Leah. So how did it go? I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be... right?"  
  
"Hi Doc. I don't know if 'bad' is the exact word to describe tonight. It was... intense. Remember how you told me to try to understand Ethan's perspective and try to be open to the reasons he left...?" She got to the stop of the steps of the porch and sat down on the ledge beside him.  
  
"Yeah... Why do you ask?" He gave her a suspicious glance as he watched a smirk grow from the corners of her lips.  
  
"Well... you know what? I should have listened to your advice more. I ended up losing my cool and I got angry and... sort of yelled at him." He looked at her with an 'old really?' expression as he leaned closer to hear the end of the story. "I began to blame him for hurting me and I accused him of not caring because he never visited me, phoned me, or even sent me a letter. And boy was I wrong!"  
  
"What do you mean? What happened after you yelled at him?"  
  
"Well... he ran inside and came out and gave me this..." She opened the box that she had been holding and showed him the contents. His eyes widened in response as he was surprised to see all the letters. He quickly nodded and pointed towards the door, signalling for her to go inside and read them by herself. She nodded back as she began to walk towards the door to the house.  
  
As she arrived to the door of her room, she was surprised to see Max sleeping on her bed. She had been waiting up for her but had evidently fallen asleep in the process. Leah pulled her blanket over her friend, trying not to wake her up. She then took a seat by the window and turned on a small lamp as she wrapped herself in a blanket and began to read the letters.  
  
To my dearest Leah,  
  
It has been one month since I've last seen the gentle  
curves of your smooth and warm face. My heart aches each moment  
my mind wanders to the angelic image of you. I have tried to  
busy myself with the work on the farm but nothing is easing the  
throbbing of my heart. I regret leaving you the way I did but I  
knew I had to... I know it must be hard to believe that now but  
you will understand in time. We come from two very different  
worlds and I could not devastate my family and bring the same  
shame my brother had... it would break my family and I cannot let  
that happen. You must understand... I didn't do it for me... I did  
it for us. We would be spending more time fighting for our  
relationship rather than actually having one. I hope you will  
one day understand why I did what I did. I hope you are well  
and you will one day find another person who deserves a  
wonderful and loving girl like you. I wish you the best and I  
will truly never forget you...  
  
With Love Always,  
Your Ethan  
  
Tears began to roll down from the ends of her long black eyelashes as she finished reading the first letter from Ethan. She looked up into the night sky that was blanketed by darkness that glimmered with the twinkling of the many stars. She reminisced about the night she sat with Ethan on the large boulder years ago, in the forest near his farm where his father had cut down the Christmas tree... The same year she first gazed into the depths of his blue eyes. She remembered sitting with him watching the night drift by as she felt heat radiate him his body and warm her own. She spent the latter of the night reading the other letters as one teardrop after the other slowly trickled down the top of her cheeks. She didn't realize she had fallen asleep until she opened her eyes to the soft rays of the rising sun of the horizon. She watched in tranquility, the arrival of the new morning, which brought along the beginnings of a new day. She watched in blissful silence as the dark night sky merged into the warm palette of the morning sun.   
Maxine slowly opened her tiresome eyes and yawned as she tried to wake the rest of her body. "Leah... when did you come in? I was waiting for you but I obviously fell asleep."  
  
"Oh, mornin' Max. You seemed so peaceful so I didn't want to wake you up. Come sit beside me. The sun is rising... must be around 5:30 in the morning." She smiled as Max walked over and sat beside her by the window. The two girls watched in tranquil silence as the morning was born.  
  
A few moments after the sun was fully risen in the high morning, blue sky, Maxine was the first to speak. "So... what happened exactly last night?"  
  
Leah did not know to put her thoughts and feelings into words and simply showed her friend the box of letters and gave her a gentle smile. Maxine's eyes suddenly jolted open as she scanned all the letters from Ethan and was left in disbelief and shock. "Whoa..."  
  
Leah laughed at her reaction as she said, "Whoa is right! I was pretty shocked too. I never knew he tried to write to me so many times... I was surprised...." She had not realized that she was on his mind this frequently and was very amazed but this.  
  
"This is good, isn't it? You know now that he's still in love with you! Why aren't you jumping up and down for joy? I would be! Shouldn't this be good news for you? Why do you seem so... down?" She was only sixteen years old and although Leah found love at her age, she wasn't able to relate to Leah on the matter of love. Sure, she's had a few boyfriends here and there but she had never experience this profound and ineffable love that Leah and Ethan share.  
  
"Yeah... I know he still loves me. But... I don't know. Something about it is... how would you say... off?" She was glad and happy now that she knew Ethan had not forgotten her but she began to develop a new perspective on some things and her thoughts and feelings began to entwine in confusion.  
  
"Off?! How? He just said he still loves you in black and white!" Max grabbed a few of the letters and began to wave them in front of her face. "This is telling you plain and simple that he still thinks about you... how are things "off"? I don't get it!"  
  
"It's hard to explain. I don't even have a good grip on it now. It's still all jumbled up in my mind." It was true though; her mind was in swirls of confusion and uncertainty. She was unsure of what she should do or shouldn't do.  
  
She let out a deep sigh as she tried to calm herself down as she tried to ne understanding and a good listener and a good friend to Leah. "Alright. How about you try to explain to me... or just tell me all your different thoughts and maybe we'll be able to piece everything together and make some sense out of it!"  
  
She hesitated as she said, "I don't know... it's complicated." She was unsure if her friend would understand where her thoughts were coming from because she had not experience the powers of first loves. She, herself, was only sixteen when she met Ethan and found her first, possibly only, love but Max, she was still young and hasn't experienced the world as much as she has.  
  
"Oh come one! Just give me a try. What's the worst thing that could happen?" She smiled convincingly as Leah gave into her innocent and kind smile.  
  
"Alright. Where do I start? Errr..." So much has happened since I first saw Ethan after all this time, she thought.  
  
"Okay. Why don't you tell me what happened at dinner last night? We can start there." She nodded and retold the events of last night as they both sat by the window of Leah's bedroom.  
  
Max seemed very interested in her bump-in with Martha Dewberry after Leah finished retelling her night with the Longacres. "Wait... you left the house with loads of time to get to the farm but you were still late?! How long did you talk to Martha for? I thought you just bumped into each other. What did you two talk about?"  
  
"We had quite a talk. She seemed a bit different. The summer I stayed in Nappanee, she didn't seem welcoming but she was still polite with her manners. But this time she still wasn't welcoming or very friendly but her manners were more or less still there but... I don't know... she acted different. She seemed very content with something... always giving me this satisfied smile." She was never great friends with the infamous Martha, then again she was the one who took Ethan from her at the time, so that was surprising. She never had anything against Martha but there was definitely a wall of discomfort and awkwardness between them.  
  
"Well of course! She probably thinks she's won! Boy is she wrong!" She began to amuse herself in the irony of Martha as she pictured her finding out she really doesn't have anything to feel content and satisfied about.  
  
"Won what? We're not running a marathon here!"  
  
"Winning Ethan! Come on, get with it Leah! If you never came into the big picture, she'd probably be happily married to Ethan with two kids with another one on the way! But no... that didn't happen because Ethan was with you! And after you two took your "break" she thought she had won when Ethan returned back to his farm and they would become the happy couple. But obviously she needs to get her facts straight because you're not going anywhere!" Maxine became energized with the news and was happy for her friend and she was glad Leah would be reunited with Ethan after four years of being apart.  
  
"What do you mean I'm not going anywhere? I'm only staying here until your dad is done his work or when I have to go back to school. I'm staying here for now... not permanently..."  
  
"But everything has fallen into place PERFECTLY!" She found herself in disbelief but Leah's lack of enthusiasm and eagerness. She had more zest and she wasn't the only in love! That doesn't seem to be right, she thought.  
  
"No it hasn't. Things have become more complicated! Look Max, I appreciate your energy towards this whole thing but not everything is laid out in black and white. Some things can be very complicated, especially when it comes to love."  
  
Oh great, she just had to bring up the one thing I wouldn't be able to relate to... love. She's so confusing sometimes, she thought. "How are things complicated now? Ethan has obviously made it clear that he still thinks about you day and night. Isn't that what you want?"  
  
"Yeah... that's probably the only uncomplicated thing. So he still seems to love me. There are other things that you have to consider..."  
  
"Hmm... okay then. What are these other things then?" She tried to sound as open-minded and understanding as she could but it was obvious that Leah was much older and more mature on this subject.  
  
"Like... Martha. That means I've taken Ethan away from her again! And she's a nice girl and she has strong feelings for him and she shouldn't be hurt again."  
  
"Hmm... alright. I agree to that point. What else?" Leah did have a good point. A girl shouldn't be hurt in such an awful way, let alone hurt twice.  
  
"Then there's his father. Mr. Longacre isn't exactly the most hospital and welcoming man! He feels very strong about his Amish background and he intends to ensure the survival of his group. He wouldn't let Ethan just walk away from the Amish ways just like that! I've told you what happened when Ethan's older brother, Eli left. Ethan is very close to his family and he wouldn't be able to hurt them and bring the same shame again."  
  
"Well... I'm sure he'd be accepting if he knew his son was unhappy with his life without you. Come on, who's going to deprive their own kid happiness!" She found the ways of the Amish very confusing and outdated.  
  
"It's hard to understand when you come from the English world. The ways of the Amish are very different from us. They may seem weird to us but it's their traditions and beliefs, we shouldn't judge them for being brought up to believe that." She was surprised to find herself defending the ways of the Amish people, something that she always was against because it was the main reason that separated her from Ethan.  
  
Maxine sighed as she realized that her friend was right in saying that things are not as simple as she first thought they were. "Well... anything else?"  
  
"I guess one more thing. It's been four years since I've seen him. And a lot of things can happen in four years. I have my own life. I'm in college and I'm going to become a nurse. And he's engaged, about to be baptized, where he'll become an adult and practice the ways of the Amish, and he'll eventually be married. He just seems so set on his own path. We're both set on our own paths... in different worlds." She amazed herself more and more as she spoke about her and Ethan. If it was four years ago, she'd be agreeing with Maxine and this conversation wouldn't be happening. Wow, I must have matured a lot, she thought.  
  
Maxine sighed and knew that Leah's thoughts made perfect sense. "So... you're not going to anything then, right?"  
  
She thought about it for a moment or two and spoke. "I guess not then. I still care about him and I'm glad he still cares about me but we're grown up a lot in these four years and we've set our own paths and it's time close this chapter of our lives and open a new one... with our own different paths..." She continued to surprise herself with her maturity on the entire situation.  
  
"So this is what real love is. To give it up for love." She found this amazing and touching to see real love at work in front of her own face.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so. Now, I know why he left me. He wanted me to live up to my potential and become a nurse and help others, something he wouldn't be able to give me if we stayed together. I guess in a way, we said goodbye because we loved each other so much. I didn't realize it would take me this long to realize that. Now I sort of regret yelling at him last night." Love, isn't it grand?  
  
They both sat in silence, trying to absorb everything that has risen to the surface from their conversation. They both tried to process everything that had juts happened, both were in astonishment.  
  
After a few minutes of quietness, Max broke the silence by asking, "So... what are you going to do? You're not going to go back to Indianapolis are you? Because I won't be able to survive in this town without you! Please stay!" She smiled persuasively.  
  
She laughed at her friend's expression and shook her head. "No... I'm not going to go back to Indianapolis. I'm going to stay here. Don't worry! " She smiled and pondered about the first part of Max's question. What was she going to do? Talk to him about it? Completely ignore him? Write him a letter? "Hmmm... about Ethan. I don't know. That's a good question. For sure, I'm going to go talk to him. But I'm still unsure of what I'm going to say to him. I guess I'll know when I go talk to him, right?"  
  
She nodded in response as she said, "What a morning!" They both laughed as they both stood up to get ready for breakfast. 


	11. Just A Friend

"Hey Leah! Can you please help me with this patient?" Dr. Barlow was examining a young child, no more than six years in age. The little boy had fallen from his bike and had scrapped his knee quite badly.  
  
"Sure thing, Doc." It was another Monday morning and she was back at work in Dr. Barlow's medical office. She thought about what she should do about her situation but her mind was still a blur. She had many uncertainties floating around in her mind and she was very confused in her emotions.  
  
Leah quickly closed the folder she was working on and walked into the examination room. The little boy was crying and was very scared. His knee was in fairly in bad shape but it could easily be fixed. "Thomas, this is Leah and she's going to hold your hand while I help clean up your knee, is that okay?" The Doc began to gather the bandages and other necessary things in his cabinet.  
  
The little boy was very small and his eyes were swollen and red from crying. He timidly said, "Hi..." as he sat nervously.  
  
"Hi Thomas. How are you feeling?" She took a seat beside him and held his hand and smiled kindly.  
  
"I'm... okay." Thomas was a little boy with red hair and clear, blue eyes, with a very pale complexion. He explained to her that he was biking outside and was distracted by one of the passing buggies and fell from his bike. She continued to smile and listened to him intently while gently holding his hand while the Doc did his work on his knee.  
  
After about ten minutes, Dr. Barlow was done and Thomas was all fixed up. "Well I think everything is done. Are you feeling better now?" The little boy quickly nodded and smiled contentedly. "That's good. Why don't you go with Leah and she'll give you a little treat, okay?"  
  
Leah helped him off his seat and led him outside. "So Thomas, because you were so brave inside you get a treat." She walked to a cabinet and pulled out a small box of toys, stickers, and lollipops. "Here... you can take one of each."  
  
She lowered the box into the arms reach of the little boy whose eyes lightened up as the candies and toys came into his sight. He smiled as he grabbed a grape lollipop, a sticker, and a small toy car. "Thank-you Leah!" He quickly put his arms around her leg as he gave her a hug.  
  
"Aww... no problem Thomas!" She put her arms around him and carried him to her desk. "You just have to be more careful, alright? Try not to get so distracted. I'll call your Mommy to pick you up, okay?" He nodded as he opened his lollipop and began to enjoy his sweet treat.  
  
Thomas's mother arrived at the office twenty minutes later and thanked as she led her son to her car. He continuously waved as they drove out of sight. "Well Leah... I think you're going to be a great nurse. You're a natural!"  
  
"Thanks Doc! You're pretty good yourself!" They laughed as they took a break before their next patient who was due to arrive in about fifteen minutes.  
  
"So Leah, what's up?" This was the Doc's way of asking about the letters. He never asked anything directly. He always waited Leah to bring the subject up before he got himself involved.  
  
"Hmmm... you know... that's a good question! I wish I knew. I think I'm even more confused than I was before! I don't know... there are so many things to keep in mind and I want to do the right thing. "  
  
"Were the letters that bad?"  
  
"Well... the letters were good. I now know he still thinks about me. But I don't think I want him to. He's so well set in his life... his Amish life. Then I come along and I interrupt everything. I've interrupted it once; I don't think I could live with myself if I suspend it again. You know what I mean?"  
  
"Yeah. Well, love is never easy. Do you have any idea of what you're going to do?"  
  
"Well... I know I want to tell him that nothing can happen again. I won't let anything happen again. He has a path and I want him to stick with it. But if I say goodbye to him, I'm worried he'll continue to think of me and become distracted from his real life."  
  
"Well if that's what you want then you should follow it. But I don't think you need to say goodbye exactly." He wouldn't consider himself young, he hasn't for a while, but he can still remember and relate to his earlier days when he dealt with his past girlfriends and old relationships. It took him awhile before he found the right woman.  
  
"What do you mean? If I don't, he might still think something is going to happen, which it's not."  
  
"I mean... tell him you don't want to have another relationship but you don't have to say goodbye. I think he'd be able to deal with it better if you made it clear nothing would happen but still be present in his life."  
  
"Hmm... like... be friends with him?"  
  
"That's one thought. Plus, you said you were really good friends with his sister, Charity. There's no reason why you should stop being her friend because of what happened. If you and Ethan are able to see each other, as friends, things might become less awkward and more comfortable."  
  
"Hmm... maybe. I guess I'll go talk to him and see what happens." And with that said, their next patient had arrived. Ironically, it was her favourite patient, Mr. Jacob Longacre.  
  
"Good afternoon Mr. Longacre."  
  
"Afternoon Leah." He turned to the Doc. "Afternoon to you too, Doc. Can I have a few minutes with Leah before I go for my check-up?"  
  
Surprised, "Oh, sure Jacob!" He turned and began to prepare in the examination room as Mr. Longacre walked to Leah's desk.  
  
What would he want to talk to me alone? Did I do something wrong? Oh man, she thought. "Is anything wrong?"  
  
"No, not at all. Is everything cleared up between you and Ethan?"  
  
"Oh. Well, I took some time to think about it and now that I've thought about it, I wanted to talk to Ethan again. Is that okay?" She found this odd that she had to ask for permission to talk to Ethan, something she had never done before.  
  
"That is fine. Come by tonight after supper and you can talk to him."  
  
"And there's one more thing..." He raised his eyebrow in curiosity as Leah continued, "I want Ethan to live his life... his Amish life." Mr. Longacre nodded in agreement. "And, for that to happen, I want to make things clear that nothing can happen between us two, like before. But I still want to be friends with Charity, and maybe even Ethan if things work out." Why am I telling him this? This is none of his business, she thought. But he is his father and... oh well. It's too late now to go back!  
  
"Okay. I guess I can accept you two being friends."  
  
"But that means I'll be at your farm once in awhile with Charity... or Ethan." When did I ever have to seek for approval? Especially from him...  
  
"Very well. You can come by the farm anytime." He nodded as he turned to walk to his examination room.  
  
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Leah quickly finished her supper that night and helped Mrs. Barlow with the dishes. She was very anxious to get to the Longacre farm. She was much less nervous, surprisingly. She knew her choice was the right one that would serve both of them. She wanted to get it off her chest and have things return back to normal, close to normal, at least.  
  
"Mrs. Barlow, is there anything else you need help with?"  
  
"Oh, no dear! You can get going now. If I need anything Maxine can help me. Don't worry!" She gave Leah a quick peck on the cheek and returned to the kitchen.  
  
She smiled in returned and went towards the front door when she bumped into Maxine who was coming down from upstairs. "Well... here I go. Wish me luck!"  
  
Max returned a smile and said, "You don't need any luck. You'll do fine. If you know in your heart this is what you want then you'll do just fine. Just trust in yourself! It always seems to work for me!"  
  
She laughed and thanked her as she opened the door and walked down to the driveway and drove off in her red convertible.  
  
Before she knew it, Leah was turning from the road into the long driveway of the Longacre farm... again. It was almost eight o'clock and the moon has just risen into the dark blanket of the night sky. The twinkling of the night's stars was beginning to peeped through the darkness as the moon shone rightly.  
  
"Leah!" Without surprise, Charity was the first one to greet her. Her friend quickly ran to her car and gave her a big hug and smiled happily as if they haven't seen each other for ages.  
  
"Hey Charity! Nice to see you too!" They both laughed and they walked to the back of the house and went into the kitchen. Leah greeted the many members of the Longacre family as she entered the house. All of them returned the greeting politely.  
  
Charity quickly pulled her arm and dragged her outside towards the barn. She was surprised to see all the Longacre children talking in the barn casually as she entered and was greeted with many smiling faces, but Ethan was not there. "Hi Leah!" It was Simeon, Charity's younger brother. "Have a seat. We were just talking about stuff. Come join us." He pulled a stool from behind him and gestured for her to sit down.  
  
"Oh thanks Simeon. So what were all of you talking about?" She slowly sat down as the rest of the Longacre children continued with their conversation.  
  
"Well I'm sixteen now so I'll be starting my 'fling' any day now. I can't wait," said Simeon enthusiastically. She found it odd that Ethan took so long to begin his fling but Simeon actually looked forward to it.  
  
"Don't get yourself in trouble now. Plus, the English world isn't that exciting."  
  
"Yeah it is! Man, when Ethan came back to the farm, he told me about some of the things he did and it was so cool! I can't wait to experience the English world! Ethan made it sound so --" Before he could continue, Elizabeth elbowed him hard in the ribs. Simeon soon realized that he shouldn't have brought up Ethan and the English world. He smiled awkwardly and looked away, trying to look distracted.  
  
Elizabeth tried to change the subject and turn away from the sore subject. "So Leah, what are you doing here in town? Are you staying long?" She was still quite young when she first met Leah but she had always thought that she was very kind, especially to her little sister when she was in the hospital. She felt that it was a shame the Amish ways was so strict. She had always wanted Ethan and Leah to stay together because Ethan seemed so happy and Leah was so fun and exciting but she knew Papa would never approve of it.  
  
"Oh I'm right now in college, studying to be a nurse. I have one semester left before I'm done my schooling. But I decided to take some time off school and help a doctor who recently moved here to town. So I guess I'll be here for awhile then."  
  
"Wow! How exciting! Being a nurse, just like Molly! I've always wanted to continue going to school but you know..." Leah knew it was Charity who spoke. She had always known her friend found it hard to leave school after grade eight.  
  
"Yeah. Molly was my inspiration. I think I'm going to enjoy being a nurse. I like knowing I made one person's life a bit easier." She thought about this morning and how she helped Thomas calm down when he was with the Doc. She also remembered the happy feeling of having him hug her in appreciation. She knew this was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. "So, what's up? What's been happening on the farm?"  
  
"Just the usual. The harvest and everything. Nothing that new! The only exciting news is Charity's engagement but we're suppose to keep it quiet," replied Simeon.  
  
"Oh really? Why not? An engagement is a happy event. Shouldn't it be spread around and everything?"  
  
Charity blushed at the talk about her and Jonas' engagement and glanced away, pretending to be distracted by something on the ground. Elizabeth giggle at her sister and explained, "Amish engagements aren't announced. About a month before the wedding, which is usually in November, after the harvest, they announce the date of the wedding. If we announced it earlier and others congratulate us, we would be proud and that is something we, Amish, are not suppose to feel. So it's suppose to be kept quiet until a month before the wedding."  
  
"Oh really? Oh okay. Well... now I know!" She felt dumb for asking now at least now she knew. Over the years, she has learned many traditions and customs of the Amish and she recognizes one strong point – Amish are never to be proud.  
  
Charity finally returned back into the conversation when she knew the topic of her engagement was exhausted. "So Leah, when will you visit again?"  
  
"Well, I talked to your father and he said I can come anytime."  
  
"Oh really? When did you talk to him? I didn't see you with him tonight."  
  
Panic began to crowd her mind as she quickly tried to devise a story to cover her mistake. "Oh, I bumped into him in town today. And he said I can come by anytime so... here I am!" She smiled, hoping they didn't pick up on anything suspicious.  
  
The topic quickly changed and Leah's nerves slowly relaxed. A sudden silence fell upon the group when Ethan walked into the barn. He glanced around and finally stopped at Leah, "Papa said you were here. You wanted to talk to me?"  
  
"Oh hi Ethan! Yeah, I wanted to talk." She quickly stood up and waved goodbye to the Charity, Simeon, and Elizabeth.  
  
Ethan and Leah began to walk beside each other into the darkness of the night, away from the glowing of the barn. "So what do you want to talk about?"  
  
"Umm... well... I really don't know how to say this." She paused for a moment in thought and tried to organize her thoughts as Ethan watched her patiently. "Okay, first of all. I want to apologize for yelling the other night. I overreacted and lost my temper. I'm sorry. I should have kept my emotions in check and kept my cool." That's a good start, she thought. Hmm... okay what should I say next now? Come on, think now!  
  
"It's okay, Leah. I understand why you lost your temper and I don't blame you." He stared up into the night sky as they continued to walk into the night.  
  
"Well...okay. But that's not exactly the reason I wanted to talk. Umm... I've realized why you left when you did. I know it took me a long time but I understand now and I don't have any bad feelings about it anymore. The letters and our talk before was the closure I needed and now I'm ready to move on. You left me because you loved me. And now I'm going to do the same." That sounds okay, doesn't it? Oh man! This isn't as easy as I thought. Well, after tonight things will be better off, I hope, she thought.  
  
"I don't quite understand. How are you going to do the same?" What is she talking about? Ethan became confused and was unsure of what Leah meant by coming here again. He thought she would forgive him and they could be together again but he was puzzled by his words.  
  
"I want you to live your life. On this farm with your family as an Amish, and most of all with Martha. She's a smart, kind, pretty, and most importantly, she's also Amish. And considering everything you've gone through in your past and now, you deserve a normal, happy life in your Amish world. There's no need for me to come disrupt everything. I've done it before and I can't allow myself to do it again." This is the right thing to do. This is the right thing to do. This is the right thing to do, she kept telling herself in her mind.  
  
"Oh. But Leah --" Unfortunately, before he could speak any further, she interrupted him. He didn't want Leah to go away. He had made that mistake years ago and it has been a burden on him ever since and he could not endure it again.  
  
"I do care for you and I always will. You are very special to me and you always will have a place in my heart. But things are so complicated now and I don't want to make it worse. Our worlds are simply too different." It's true though. She doubted she would be able to survive without electricity or without a mall! And it would be unfair for her or his family to have him leave his life for her. Things were best to be left as they were.  
  
Ethan's mind became a blur as he listened intently to her words and tried to process the meaning behind them but it was very difficult for him. He soon realized that Leah had already made up his mind that nothing would happen and he knew he couldn't say anything that could change it once it was set. "So, that's it then. Well... thanks for coming to tell me in person." He tried to keep his composure and hide his disappointment.  
  
"Not quite." He raised his eyebrow in interest and wonder. "I know nothing can happen between us, nothing like we had before. However... I don't want to lose contact with you. I want to remain friends. I asked your father and he said I can visit you and Charity and your other siblings whenever I want. And when I return back to school, we can write to each other. Just keep in touch. Is... that... okay?" This is almost over, she thought as her breaths began to soften.  
  
After a few moments of thought, Ethan agreed as they both walked back to the barn where Simeon, Charity, and Elizabeth were still talking. They all became quiet when they saw them two walk back into the barn. Ethan grinned and said, "What are you all looking at?" He and Leah smiled and grabbed two stools and joined them. They all began to talk animatedly with energy and excitement as they all talked about their day and everything that had happened for the past few years.  
  
Ethan sat quietly observing as the night slowly rolled by. He still felt disappointed but was somewhat relieved and glad that he would still see the uplifting smile of His Leah. He would learn to adjust but at that moment, he would appreciate having Leah back in his life, even though she is just a friend. 


	12. Anticipation

Leah took off her shoes and placed them neatly on the shoe rack and slowly made her way towards the stairs. However, on the way there, she saw Dr. Barlow sitting at the dining table reading the Sports section of the newspaper. "Hey Doc. So did the team win?" She knew that the Doc was a hockey fanatic and was always up-to-date with all the scores, standings, schedule, and anything else you needed to know about the game.  
  
He looked up, surprised to see her but smiled, "Do you see me pouting? We won, of course! 3-0... Pretty good if I don't say so myself... The shutout is a plus too! This will help us in the standings. So... how was tonight? Any history repeats?" He folded the paper and placed it neatly on the pile.  
  
"Fortunately, everything went well and I didn't come close to losing my temper!" She smiled and took a seat across from the Doc. "Well... we talked... pretty casually! And I told him that I was glad he still cared for me and how the letters was the closure I needed to move on and it is."  
  
"That's good. And are you two... friends? Or is everything just over and done with?"  
  
"I told him that our worlds were just too different and it would be best to stay on our own different paths. Then I also told him, even though we couldn't have what we had before, we could still be friends and I can visit him and Charity once in awhile. And yeah..." She felt good that she had this talk with Ethan. Now, she felt... less burdened, in a way, free. She had always had so many questions about her future and about Ethan and now it seemed as though everything was falling in place and she was given the answers she had been looking for – about time! She was confident that everything would work out for the best.  
  
"That's good. But the big question is, how did he take it? Is he okay with the idea? Guys tend to hide their feelings, it's an odd thing they do sometimes but it still happens."  
  
"Well... Ethan's usually quite honest with his thoughts and feelings and he seemed fine when I brought up the friends part. He seemed pretty accepting of the idea so I think he's happy about it, we both are. So everything will work out... just give it sometime to adjust." So this is what it's like to be a responsible and mature adult, she thought. She realized she had grown up more over the last few days than she has in the last few years.  
  
"Well in that case I'm glad everything is good. You should probably go upstairs, knowing Max, she'll be in your room again waiting for every little detail of tonight. Hopefully she hasn't fallen asleep again."  
  
She smiled and went to her room, where she found Max lying on her bed. She was reading this month's Seventeen magazine but it was obvious she was on the brink of falling asleep. Her eyelids with heavy and slowly drooping lower and lower but when she heard Leah walk in, she suddenly sat up with such speed you might have thought someone had yanked her up. "Leah! You're home! Come, come! Have a seat!" She patted the bed, gesturing for her to sit down beside her.  
  
"Hey. So what's in this month's Seventeen magazine? 10 ways to wear pink?" She smiled, teasing her friend, knowing fashion was the last topic on Max's mind – she wanted to scoop!  
  
"Ha Ha! Aren't you just the funniest thing! Now, come on, tell me what happened tonight! And don't leave anything out." She beamed brightly as her eyes widened with curiosity.  
  
"Alright! Alright!" She replayed every detail, every single small detail and paused once in awhile to answer Max's question and after a long hour, she was finally done explaining her night to an inquisitive Maxine.  
  
"Well... you had quite a night. But I'm glad everything worked. Everything DID work out, right?"  
  
"Yes it did. You have nothing to worry about!" She laughed and threw a pillow at her friend, who quickly retaliated with force.  
  
For the next half an hour, the house heard nothing but the loud giggles and screeches coming from Leah's bedroom as the two girls fought with their pillows.  
  
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Leah was busy filling out some paperwork left over from the morning appointments during her lunch break. Dr. Barlow had gone back to the house to pick up some of his files he had forgotten to bring with him. Belinda had not returned from Indianapolis yet and it seemed unlikely she would anytime soon. It turned out that her mother had fallen ill and Belinda needed to take care of her. So, Leah became the only nurse there. While she was finishing up one of the last pieces of paperwork, she heard the bell chime as someone entered the office. She looked up and saw a young man, around her age that was obviously Amish by his plain attire. "Hi, may I help you Sir?"  
  
He looked down on her and smiled and began to laugh. He began to shake his head as if he was in disbelief as Leah got out of her seat and walked towards him.  
  
"Umm... are you alright Sir? What's so funny?" She became tremendously confused as the mysterious man continued to smile and shake his head.  
  
"Leah... Leah Lewis-Hall. You don't recognize me at all? Come on!" He looked at her, waiting for her to realize who he was.  
"No sorry. Do I know you, Sir?" Who is this guy? And how does he know my full name? This is freaking me out, she thought to herself.  
  
"It's me! Jonas!"  
  
Her mind and body froze as she suddenly realized she was staring at Charity's fiancée and soon-to-be husband and calling him 'Sir'. He laughed at her shocked reaction as he smiled and tried to knock her out of her stunned trance. "Leah? You alright? Come on, it's just me Jonas!"  
  
He snapped his finger and she was finally taken out of her daze. "Whoa! Jonas! It's you!" She found it hard to believe how much he had grown up since the last time she saw him. He definitely looked much more mature, surprisingly. "Wow! You've grown up so much since the last time I saw you! I barely recognize you!"  
  
He laughed. "Yeah, I can tell. So how are you doing? I hear you want to be a nurse."  
  
"Yeah, I have one more semester and I'll be a fully qualified nurse! But you... you're finally engaged to Charity! That's wonderful news! Congratulations!" She was very surprised to meet Jonas like this... but she was even more shocked by the way they both talked to each other. Before, he made it clear that he didn't approve of her dating Ethan, but now, he seemed so friendly. Wait, I forgot, Ethan is with Martha now, his sister, no wonder he's friendly now! Should have thought of that before!  
  
He reddened with the mention of the engagement but quickly returned back to normal. "Thank-you! You're very kind. I'm suppose to keep it quiet... you know the Amish ways but I must say that I'm very excited. Charity's been the only girl I've truly cared about."  
  
"She's lucky to have someone who cares about her so much. So what are you doing here anyways? It's not normal for you to be visiting the doctor's. You should be as healthy as anyone else."  
  
"Oh I came to see you actually. Charity told me that you were back in town and working here. She actually sent me here. She wanted to invite you to come over this Friday for dinner. She even mentioned two other people, she said they were the children of the doctor you were working for – they're friends with Elizabeth and Simeon."  
  
"Oh Maxine and Brian!"  
  
"Yes, that's their names! Memory slipped away for that moment. But can all three of you come to dinner? Martha and I will also be there too. Sort of a big get together, you may say."  
  
Martha's going to be there? Oh no, that can't be good at all! I'm definitely bringing Max with me then! "This Friday... sure. We'll be there."  
  
"That's great! Oh and Ethan told me about what you said to him. I'm glad you two have settled everything out. You were right in deciding just to be friends. Our worlds are just too different. Well, I better be off now. Lots of work to do still! I guess I'll see you Friday then!" And with a quick nod, he turned and walked out of the office.  
  
"Err... right. Friday it is..." Why do I get myself into these sticky positions? I always create trouble for myself! She sighed and finished up the remainder of her paperwork.  
  
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The day quickly ended and Leah was running late when she went to pick up Maxine and Brian at school while Mrs. Barlow had to attend a meeting at her library. She rushed to arrived on time, hoping they didn't have to wait long for her. She had patiently waited all day to talk to Maxine and tell her about Friday night dinner. Her anxiety grew as she drove along the curves of steady dirt road. Finally, she arrived at the school just as the bell rang, dismissing the day.  
  
She quickly spotted them walking out the building and honked to get their attention. Brian smiled and waved as they swiftly walked to up to her red convertible. "Hey guys! How was school?" For a moment, she thought back to the days when she was in high school and sometimes wished she had a more stable childhood, without the frequent moving of houses and schools, even new stepfathers.  
  
"Don't even ask. I'm suppose to be taking a second language course for one of my compulsory credits but when I registered, all the French classes were full so I had to take German and I'm doing horrible in it! Mom and Dad are going to be fuming when they see my progress report!" She let out a big sigh as she closed the door to the passenger seat as her little brother took his seat in the back.  
  
"Well... when do you get your report?" She grinned as a light bulb lit up in her mind as an idea began to formulate but she would keep it to herself... for now.  
  
"Any day now! I'm going to be grounded and I won't be able to do anything!" Max began to panic and continued to ramble on. "What am I going to do? I won't be able to go out! I'll be stuck at home. I'll become a hermit. I won't have a life! I won't --" Brian rolled his eyes as he eyed his overly dramatic teenage sister and distracted himself with the fields outside.  
  
Leah quickly interrupted her before her friend passed out from panic. "Alright, first thing you're going to do is breath!" They both took in deep breaths and let them out slowly. After a few minutes of breathing, the height of drama slowly lowered as she spoke, "Okay. Now that you've calmed quite a bit, you're going to study harder and don't think about anything else until your mark is higher, you understand?" Man, I should like a mother! What's wrong with me!  
  
"I'm trying really hard already but German just doesn't stay in my head. In one ear, out the other! Plus, how can I study from my textbook if I don't even know how to read it in the first place!"  
  
"What about a tutor? You can find someone who knows how to speak fluent German and maybe they can help you with it."  
  
"A tutor? Where am I going to find someone who's willing to teach ME? I'm sorry but have you met me? You don't understand how bad my German is!"  
  
She laughed at her theatrical friend and smiled. "Let me worry about that. Just focus on trying your best and I'll find a tutor, I've got a person in mind, a few actually..." She grinned and quickly steered the conversation towards Friday night dinner.  
  
"So the Longacre family invited us to dinner this Friday?"  
  
"Wait... invited US? Who's considered 'us' exactly?"  
  
"Us, as in you, Brian, and me. The three of us..."  
  
"Oh really?" She smirked at the thought. She remembered when she was at the farm last time, when Leah first bumped into Ethan after the four years 'break'. She reminisced about Ethan's younger brother, Simeon, who was also her age and was quite good looking.  
  
As Max entered her fantasy world of a giddy teenager, Brian began to join the conversation. "I'm invited too! Cool! Last time I went, their cow gave birth! I hope another one gives birth again! It was so awesome!" A huge smile swept across his face as he thought back to that night.  
  
Leah laughed as she glanced beside her and saw a dreamy-eyed Maxine and stared into her rear mirror and saw a fascinated boy who seemed worlds away from reality. She continued to drive back home and wondered what would happen this Friday.  
  
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Ethan was pitching hay from the loft of the barn in the late afternoon. It had been a long day and the weather didn't help, it was sticky and humid. He was sweating all over by the end of the day's work. He was finishing up with the hay when Martha came in to visit him. "Hi Ethan. Can you come down?" He looked down and smiled. He quickly finished up with the hay and descended down the stairs.  
  
He gave Martha a quick hug and a peck on her cheek. "Hi Martha. I didn't know we were going out tonight." After talking to Leah, he had come to the conclusion that marrying Martha might just be the right path to go down. It was obvious to him that there was no future with Leah and there was no point in hoping for something that would unlikely happen. He decided he would stick it out with Martha and convinced himself she wasn't as bad as he thought. He led himself to believe that many of his negative thoughts were shallow excuses for pushing her away, trying to justify his hope for a future with Leah but now he knew what his path was to be laid.  
  
"Oh we're not. I just came here to talk to you then I have to go back home. Jonas is with Charity right now." He nodded as she continued, "Look, Jonas told me about Leah visiting you. I want to hear this from you, are you sure that nothing is happening with you and her? Because I can't lose you to her again, I won't let it happen." She lad always felt threatened by Leah because she was English and had no limits, which made her seemed so much more courageous and free-spirited than her.  
  
"Look. We did talk but nothing is going on. We've both decided that nothing will happen again and we're just going to be friends and nothing more. Don't worry! I'm not going anywhere." He smiled and held Martha in his arms, trying to comfort her insecurities.  
  
She sighed and questionably asked, "Are you sure Ethan?"  
  
"Yes I am. We're just friends." He looked deep into her hazel eyes and endearingly smiled and nodded.  
  
"Promise?" She knew Ethan never made any promises he could not keep.  
  
There was a moment of hesitation but Ethan held her again and placed a gentle, soft kiss on her forehead. He then turned and walked towards his desk full of his tools. "So Mama told me you're coming to dinner on Friday."  
  
"Err... yes. It was actually Jonas' idea." And with the mention of his name, Jonas and Charity, arm in arm, walked into the barn.  
  
"Did someone mention my name?"  
  
Ethan turned around to look at his good friend, happily holding hands with his sister. "We were just talking about Friday's dinner. That's all."  
  
Jonas nodded and said, "Oh yes dinner! Everyone will be here, your family, Martha and I, and Leah and her friends, Maxine and Brian. It'll be lots of fun!" He smiled and took a seat on one of the stools.  
  
"It'll be good to see Leah again. It's been a long time since we've talked." Martha smiled, trying to seem innocent.  
  
Charity frowned at Martha and questioned, "But Leah told me she bumped into you when she was driving up to the farm on Friday. She said you two talked for awhile, that's why she was late for dinner."  
  
"Oh that's right! It must have slipped my mind. We didn't talk for very long though. Just 'hi' and 'how's it going' sort of stuff... nothing very long." She smiled and put her arms around a frowning Ethan.  
  
Charity gave Ethan and quick suspicious, questioning glance at Ethan who shrugged it off. Jonas sensed that some tension was slowly building. He knew that his fiancée had some strong opinions about his sister and he always tried to be the conflict mediator and tried to lower the tension as much as possible. "Sister, you will be well-behaved this Friday at dinner! Leah is our friend now. You should be nice to her! She's done nothing wrong to you so she doesn't deserve any bad manners, nor do her friends!"  
  
Martha pretended to act shocked by such accusations but deep down, she knew her brother was right. Leah had never technically hurt her directly. She took Ethan from her even before they met each other so it's not Leah's fault... exactly. But she couldn't help feeling hurt when she saw them at the carnival... at the dance... the Rink... and all the other places. "Don't worry, Brother. I'll be polite as I always am." She smiled and snuggled in between the gentle hold of Ethan's arms.  
  
Charity tried to smile and seem content but deep down her mind was full of questions. She worried about what would happen at Friday's dinner. What if Martha and Leah fight? Do I side with Martha? She is Jonas' sister... But Leah is my best friend! I cannot turn my back on her. Oh, and what about Ethan! His emotions will be ever so tangled when he's with both girls! She tried to shake off her worrisome thoughts as Jonas caringly held her and gently kissed her on the soft curve of her smooth cheek and smiled in content. She would not worry... simply wait in anticipation for the arrival of Friday evening... 


	13. DejaVu

"Maxine Elizabeth Barlow, come downstairs this minute! Your mother and I would like to you right now!" Dr. Barlow sternly said as he and his wife sat around the dining table, holding her progress report. The report had arrived at the Barlow household early in the afternoon in the mail and Dr. Barlow had just opened the envelope.  
  
Oh no, my full name! They must have found my report cards, she thought as she closed her textbook and quickly ran downstairs. "Yes Daddy?" She innocently smiled and batted her eyelashes.  
  
"Don't Daddy me. Have a seat. Your mother and I would like to talk about this," he said as he pulled out a seat between him and Mrs. Barlow and placed the progress report in front of her on the dinning table.  
  
She awkwardly laughed trying to lighten the atmosphere but her intent was not very successful. "Yes... so you're probably wondering about my German mark, right?"  
  
"Oh so you have seen your report. And when were you going to tell us?" He sternly looked down at his daughter and patiently waited for an answer. Over the sixteen years of raising his daughter, he learned to be patient and wait for her to explain herself before considering any form of punishment.  
  
"Look, Mom and Dad. I explained to you before that when I registered, all the French classes were all full and they didn't have room for me. So I had to be placed into the German class and I don't know one word of the language and I don't think I know one even now!"  
  
Mrs. Barlow sympathetically smiled as she said, "Well, dear, you should have come to one of us when you first experienced trouble. We would have tried to help you."  
  
"She's right. We would have tried to help with your studies. And if we couldn't help, we'd try to find you a tutor of some kind. We want you to try your best and sometimes everyone needs a bit of help once in awhile. I want you to feel that you're able to come to us when you need it."  
  
She nodded in response and quickly apologized. Suddenly, Leah appeared from the kitchen doorway. "Sorry, I don't want to interrupt but I have an idea that might help her to improve her German mark." She smiled, hoping they weren't mad that she walked in on their 'parental talk' with Maxine.  
  
"Oh Leah, I didn't see you come in." He thought for a moment, wondering if he wanted to listen to Leah's solution and eventually gave in. "Well, any help would be appreciated. What did you have in mind exactly?"  
  
"Well... I know someone... actually some people who speak fluent German who would be willing to help Max with her studies."  
  
"Really? Who did you have in mind?"  
  
She smirked as she said, "Surprisingly, I was thinking about having Max tutored by the Longacre children. They're Amish of Dutch descent but they're quite fluent in the German language and I think they'd gladly help her."  
  
They were all surprised to hear Leah's solution to Max's German problems but welcomed it with open arms. "So they're willing to provide some tutoring assistance?"  
  
"Well... I don't know for sure. But Max can bring her books with her when we go to dinner on Friday. We can even go earlier... maybe she can squeeze in some tutor time before we ate. I'm sure Elizabeth would be more than willing to let a hand." She smiled as she watched the Doc and his wife nod in approval.  
  
"Alright then. You two can go to dinner this Friday with the Longacre family and hopefully they'll be kind enough to offer some help because my German is... well... pretty much non-existent." They all laughed and the seriousness of the room lightened up as Max and Leah said goodnight and went up to bed.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
"Max, you do know that it's just a dinner. A normal dinner, nothing special, right?" Leah asked curiously as she looked at her friend while they were driving to the Longacre farm. Maxine had spent over an hour in the bathroom and took another hour in her bedroom picking out what she would wear for dinner. Leah found this quite odd because her friend usually wore very casual clothes and did not make a great effort to look nice unless it was an important event or occasion.  
  
Her friend giggled and checked herself over in the mirror in the passenger seat. "Yes I know, just a normal dinner. Why do you ask?" She combed her fingers through her hair, making sure everything was neatly in place.  
  
"Well... I don't know. You spent a lot of time in the bathroom getting ready and you seemed to put a lot of thought and effort in your choice of clothing. It just seemed odd... that's all."  
  
"Oh no. I was just bored and had the extra time so I busied myself. That's all!" She smiled and returned back to the mirror, checking and double-checking her appearance.  
  
Brian, who was sitting in the back seat, let out a big 'ha' as he rolled his eyes. "You weren't bored! You're such a liar! You know you're trying to look good for Simeon!" He laughed some more as Maxine quickly turned around and attempting to grab him, but with no success.  
  
"I am not! You're the liar!" She continued to try to grab her little brother but Leah intervened.  
  
"Simeon, eh?" She giggled as she said, "I never knew you had a thing for him!" She smiled as she kept her eyes on the long, dirt road.  
  
"No I don't! It's true! I'm telling the truth! Don't believe Brian. He's so full of c --" Before she could finish her sentence, Leah quickly shot her a 'don't even think about it' look. She sighed and let out a deep breath and busied herself by looking out the window.  
  
After a few moments of silence, Leah began to talk. "You know, mixing yourself with Amish guys, isn't quite the best thing to do. Trust me..."  
  
"I obviously know that now! That's why nothing is going to happen! Geez..." She was old enough to make up her own decisions! She didn't need Leah breathing down her neck every time she had a slight crush on a guy. Plus, who cares if he's Amish. He's probably different from Ethan anyways! But who was she kidding, why would a good-looking guy like Simeon want to do with an English girl like me. She sighed and ended her thoughts about Simeon. "I'm just going tonight because I need help with my German and they invited me for dinner. That's all! And the reason I'm wearing some nicer clothes and used more time to get ready is because we rarely have any special occasions and this was the closest thing to something eventful so I put some thought into it. That's all... so stop reading into it, okay?"  
  
It was obvious that her friend seemed hurt that Brian and her had teamed up against her and quickly apologized and explained, "Look, I overreacted a bit but I was hurt a lot when I separated from Ethan and I just don't want you to be hurt. And your brother and I didn't mean anything behind it. So don't take it to heart. Right, Brian?" She looked into her rear window and saw him roll his eyes and apologize.  
  
Within minutes, they reached the small dirt road that led to the Longacre farm. Leah put her car into park and the three of them slowly got out of the car. They were quickly greeted by Charity and Elizabeth, who were evidently waiting for them by the front porch stairs. Brian went to look for Nathan to play with, while Leah and Maxine helped the female Longacres with the night's meal. As they were cutting some carrots, Leah remembered about Max's need for a German tutor and quickly asked before she forgot. "Elizabeth, how fluent are you in German?" She smiled in response and began to speak the language effortlessly as she was stirring the stew by the stove. "Whoa! Whoa! Alright. I have no idea what you just said but I'm guessing you were just speaking German. I was wondering if you were willing to tutor Maxine. She's having some trouble with her German and she needs to boost up her mark before the end of the year. Do you think you can offer some assistance?"  
  
Elizabeth smiled and looked at her father who nodded in approval and she quickly glanced back at Leah and swiftly nodded. Maxine's spirit was heightened as she realized she would be able to improve her mark and make her parents happy. She quickly thanked her and smiled.  
  
"Well, I am just about done with the stew and I see you brought some of your books with you. We can start now if you'd like to."  
  
"Okay! Sure! I just finished cutting these tomatoes anyways!" They both went outside to work at the back at the house while Leah and Charity finished with their vegetables.  
  
After they were done, there was a bit of time left before dinner was ready so Charity led Leah to the barn where the rest of the Longacre family, along with Martha, Jonas, and Brian, were hanging about. She smiled and said, "Well... you all remember Leah!" They all nodded and greeted her as the two girls grabbed stools and joined the circle of conversation.  
  
Without a surprise, Martha was the first one to speak. "So Leah how is everything?"  
  
With careful consideration, she answered, "Well... they're pretty much the same as the last time you asked me last week." She smiled politely. "But how about you?"  
  
She smiled, but only to be polite but deep down she was not pleased but Leah's quick retort. "It's great," she said as she put her arms around Ethan who awkwardly tightened his hold on her. "So I've met Brian and who is this Maxine you came with?"  
  
"Oh, she's Brian's older sister. She's with Elizabeth right now, getting some German tutoring lessons to help her with her schoolwork."  
  
Martha frowned at her remark and said, "Tutor lessons? I'm glad I'm not in school anymore." It was secret that she was never quite the brightest student in school and she was happy to leave it behind her after she was done her eighth year.  
  
Before she could defend Max, Charity reacted before she could think of something to say, "Well I think it's great that the English continue their schooling. Learning is a great experience and it should be valued, even if you aren't the top student."  
  
Whoa, good going Charity! She laughed in her mind as she developed a new admiration for her friend who had evidently grown an edge, especially towards Martha.  
  
Hoping to level the tension, Jonas quickly began to steer the conversation away from school and quickly began to ramble on about all the work he's doing on his father's farm. "This year's harvest was good. It seems it has been a good season for growing! It will do well for my parents."  
  
Soon the entrance of Elizabeth and Maxine interrupted the flow of conversation. "Leah! You can't believe it. I know more than one word in German! Isn't that great?" Maxine smiled with pride as she spoke a five- word sentence in the language without a visible struggle.  
  
Leah laughed at her friend, congratulated her on her success, and asked her what she has just said. Ironically, she explained that she had said, "I do not understand German".  
  
Maxine turned to look at the rest of the people staring at her as if she was a foreigner. Elizabeth smiled and quickly grabbed a stool and offered her new friend a seat. "Max, this is my brother Simeon," she said as she pointed to her brother on her left and went around the circle clockwise. "Next to Simeon is Ethan, my older brother and Martha. You know that's Charity... and that's Jonas, her fiancé. And you already know Leah, obviously."  
  
Maxine nodded and smiled and said a quick 'hi' to everyone and sat down. She found it interesting that her new friend did not call Martha Ethan's fiancée but had done so with Charity and Jonas.  
  
Simeone looked at the new girl and found something... different about her. A good different... He was unable to pinpoint what exactly made this girl special but he was going to find out. He looked up and caught her eye contact and became suddenly lost within the depths of her gentle hazel eyes and was put under a trance. He was swiftly brought back to reality when Ethan playfully punched him in the arm when heir mother rang the bell, signifying that dinner was ready.  
  
"You alright Simeon? You seemed like you were in another world a few moments ago..." he asked his younger brother curiously as they stood up and began to walk towards the house, lagging behind the rest of the ground who were talking mong themselves animatedly.  
  
"You know what Ethan? I was in another world... it was weird but felt good at the same time. Does that make any sense?"  
  
"I think I know what you're talking about. That girl..." He could tell that Simeon was growing up and found it interesting that his younger brother's eyes were first caught by a girl...not just any girl... but an English one. Maybe it runs in the family, he thought to himself.  
  
"What about that girl? Who... by the way, is named Maxine."  
  
Ethan laughed at his brother and explained, "You just proved my point. I think she has stolen your heart."  
  
"What are you talking about? Crazy talk, brother!" Hmm... he did start feeling this odd feeling in the pit of his stomach when he first met this Maxine girl. When she first came to the farm, he felt the same feeling but convinced himself it was a stomachache and had forgotten about it. However, after seeing her again tonight, the odd feeling had returned... with force.  
  
"I've experienced the same odd feeling after meeting Leah. She was the special one and maybe Maxine is your special one."  
  
Simeon frowned and gave his brother a 'oh boy' type of look as they reached the back door. 


	14. Dinner for All

The moon shone brightly and the stars twinkled as they drove through the darkness of the autumn night. There were no lights along the sides of the thin, rough road that led them away from the Longacre farm. Leah watched the road continue to grow longer and longer as she followed the guiding glow of her headlights. The women of the Longacre family had prepared a wonderful dinner, without a surprise since they always do, and the night was very interesting and she was glad she was able to go with Maxine and Brian. It was getting late as they saw the first sight of the town of Nappanee. "So Max, what did you think of tonight?"  
  
Maxine was leaning against the side of the passenger door on the brink of falling into a deep sleep. She yawned and sat up and said, "Err... what did you say Leah? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I'm just tired... but I'm fully awake now."  
  
Leah grinned and repeated her question. Maxine thought carefully, trying to choose the proper words to describe tonight, and eventually said, "It was... interesting."  
  
Great minds think alike, Leah thought. She sarcastically responded, "Interesting... that's to put it the least!" She laughed as she made a turn onto Main Street.  
  
Max laughed and said, "Yeah. Well... most of the Longacre family seems nice. The dad seemed a bit stiff though, not exactly the friendliest person I've met."  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean. That's what I first thought too when I met him but he sort of grows on you I guess. You learn to adjust to it..." She couldn't help but try to sound positive when she talked about him. She had tried her best to understand Mr. Longacre's ways ever since she had found out about his sensitive health condition. She came to the conclusion that Mr. Longacre was that way he was because he was Amish, obviously, and he had very unfortunate experiences with the English in his past and he has become much more reserved in the presence of English folk.  
  
"Err... maybe. Well, anyways... Jonas seems really nice. He seems to care for Charity a lot, which is a good thing." She turned her head and watched the passing buildings as they drove past a row of stores and houses and continued to speak. "And Martha... I understand what you meant when you said she was 'polite' but seemed oddly content and smitten about something. She's... let's just say if she were in my school now, I wouldn't be friends with her. Come to think of it, I don't think too many people would be. She seems very insecure which causes her to be very possessive and touchy about little things."  
  
She smiled at her friend's accurate perception, as she spoke, "Yeah, but I think I would be too if I had my boyfriend stolen from me once and worrying he might be stolen again, even though I made it clear I'm not going to do anything again. It's understandable... I guess."  
  
"Yeah I know, I know. I just don't like her. She gives off a bad vibe," she said as she turned to look behind her in the passenger seat and saw her little brother fast asleep in the backseat.  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean. So... how's your German? Do you think you'll be able to pull up your mark with the help of Elizabeth?"  
  
"Definitely! Thanks for setting me up with her! She's so nice and patient, the making of a great teacher! I think I'll improve very quickly. We've agreed to meet every Tuesday and Friday after dinner for my tutoring lessons! I'm excited."  
  
Leah was surprised by her friend's enthusiasm and began to wonder if she had other ideas in her mind, possibly seeing Simeon but she did not mention it to her friend. "That's good to hear."  
  
"So did anything happen with Ethan? How's the whole 'friend' thing going?" For a large portion of the night, she was with Elizabeth and Simeon. She thought Elizabeth was very exciting and fun to be with and hoped she could form a friendship as strong as Leah and Charity's. And, she also enjoyed the company of Simeon who was very funny, not to mention good-looking!  
  
"Well... we talked... still doing the whole catch-up thing. Actually, it's more like him asking me about my life because nothing much has changed here. Anyways... we didn't really talk alone that much because Martha was always there tagging along holding his arm or hugging him or something like that... as if she was marking her territory. It was quite amusing!"  
  
Maxine giggled as they turned on to the driveway of their house just as Brian opened his eyes. He yawned and said, "Wow, home already? Tonight was fun! Let's go again sometime." He shook off his sleepiness as made his way to the front door with Leah and Max following behind him.  
  
Brian was past his bedtime and quickly got ready for bed before his father lectured him. Max also got ready for bed and said goodnight to Leah and went to her bedroom. Leah was taking her time in the bathroom and eventually slid into the comforts of her bed covers. She had difficulty falling asleep and began to replay the events of tonight.  
  
Dinner had just finished and Elizabeth, Maxine, Martha, and  
Charity were helping Mrs. Longacre clean up the table and wash  
the dishes when Ethan pulled her aside. He led her onto the  
back porch where they were given some privacy, away from  
everyone else. "I'm sorry about tonight. Martha has been...  
acting strangely tonight," he said as they sat beside each other  
on the steps of the porch.  
  
"It's okay, I don't mind that much. I can understand why she  
might be acting differently in my presence... it's quite  
understandable. You know... with everything that's happened. She  
must feel a bit insecure about me being here and all..." The  
layers of dark blues, indigos, and dark purples weaved over and  
under each other to form the blanket of the cool night sky. The  
stars were out dancing over the darkness of the night as a cool  
breeze gently blew with the rustling of the autumn's leaves.  
  
"Yeah but she should still try to be nice and all. I've made it  
clear to her already..." he trailed on but they both knew he was  
about to say that he made it clear to Martha that nothing would  
happen between him and Leah again.  
  
"Yeah... Well girls can be very insecure sometimes so just give  
her some time I guess. She'll ease up when she adjusts to me  
being around here."  
  
This pleased Ethan. Not the easing up part but the way Leah  
talked about being here, which meant she would not leave him  
behind. Maybe this friends thing might just work, he thought to  
himself as he intently listened to Leah. "I hope you're right  
Leah. She has changed a lot after everything has happened..."  
  
"Oh really? How? She seems more or less the same... sort of." I  
hope her change didn't have to do with me, she thought to  
herself with worry.  
  
"Well... she's changed in little ways. A normal person probably  
would not notice but I am with her very often and you pick up on  
a few times here and there."  
  
"Oh... Well... maybe I'll understand what you mean soon... if I start  
to see her more often, which I probably will since she's also at  
the farm quite often." This continued to please Ethan even more  
by her words. "So how are things on the farm? The harvest is  
almost over, right?"  
  
"Yeah. We're quite on the way. Just a few things to finish up  
and we'll be done this year's harvest. This year had a slow  
start because the winter ended later than usual but once the  
warmth and the sun of the summer season came, everything grew  
with haste, so the year ended quite well. So how's school?"  
  
"Well I'm taking a break from it. Not too sure when I'll go  
back... Maybe start in the spring semester or wait until next  
year or the year after. Depends on how things play out I  
guess..."  
  
"Oh alright. I'm glad that you're still in school. You're very  
smart and you have a lot of potential. It's good you aspire to  
be a nurse; I know you'll make a wonderful one once you're done  
all the necessary schooling. Maybe even better than Molly!" He  
smiled as they both stood up and walked towards the barn.  
  
"Yeah... I'll just be glad to be half the nurse Molly was," she  
said as they both laughed. The night was a colourful glow as  
the moon radiated the night sky. They both stared dreamily  
towards the stars and became caught in a trance by the gentle  
elegance of the evening. Eventually Leah was the first to snap  
back to reality and said, "So what exactly happened with Leah  
and Jonas? Before I came back Charity seemed pretty angry with  
Jonas and he seemed pretty adjusted to the English lifestyle. I  
was so surprised to see them together, let alone engaged, that I  
didn't say anything. Your sister seemed so happy... I didn't want  
to ruin it by asking her about a difficult time..."  
  
He looked at her and contemplated for a moment before speaking.  
"He did not return to the Amish ways for quite awhile... some of  
us even wondered if he would ever return at all. And when I  
come to think of it, I don't think he would have if it didn't  
happen..."  
  
"What do you mean? What happened? What was so big that led him  
back here?" she asked curiously.  
  
"Well, you know how Jonas drinks a lot and he never really  
understood, let alone cared about the dangers of drinking  
excessively..." She nodded, signaling she understood what he was  
talking about. "One night he was drinking with his English  
friends at his house and everything was fine... but then he began  
drink much more than he ever did. He soon became very ill and  
passed out but his English friends thought he was just sleeping  
so they just left him alone. Charity and I went to visit him.  
She missed him a lot and hoped she could convince him to return  
back to the Amish world. When we knocked, no one answered but  
the door was open so we went inside and found him alone on the  
floor unconscious with a lot of empty bottles around him. We  
tried to wake him up but he just wouldn't come to so Charity and  
I brought him to the hospital. The doctors took the alcohol out  
and stabilized him and eventually he woke up. He scared  
everyone, especially Charity, but most importantly, himself. He  
realized that he had crossed the borderline and he had gone far  
enough. After that night, he has become much more cautious with  
his life... that is why he cares for Charity so much... She means  
everything to him and he almost lost her and he does not want to  
risk that again... ever..."  
  
Leah found this shocking and it took her awhile to process the  
whole story. "Wow! I never expected that! I guess sometimes  
you just have to hit rock bottom to know how much you've thrown  
away... So did Charity just... got back together with him... right  
after?"  
  
"Oh no! It took a whole month... Jonas came over every day for an  
entire month asking for her forgiveness. It took him two weeks  
just to convince her to speak to him..."  
  
Leah laughed as she imagined Jonas begging on his knees,  
pleading to Charity. "Yeah... that seems more like Charity."  
  
"But I knew she cared about him greatly because every time Jonas  
left our farm, she would come running to me and ask him what he  
said and to see if he was okay. And eventually, she forgave him  
and slowly he regained her trust and soon her love. And now...  
here we are I guess..."  
  
"That's a very sweet story! A nice ending..." She smiled and  
turned to look around the quiet, peaceful farm.  
  
"Yeah, they are perfect for each other. Since we're on the  
topic of filling in the gaps... how are you? After Neil's...  
passing? Has your mother gotten married again?" He asked  
inquisitively as he stood up and stretched.  
  
"I coped with it well. I know he tried his best to fight the  
cancer but some battles aren't meant to be won. Plus, I know  
he's not longer suffering but with God, in a better place. But  
I do miss him but I try to think about the good times I had with  
him and what made his presence in my life worthwhile. He was  
the only person that was ever a real dad to me... That meant a lot  
to me. And my mom took it pretty hard though..." She sighed and  
continued, "It took her about two years before she even  
considered dating again... She wasn't sure if she wanted a sixth  
husband because it was near impossible to beat Neil but she  
eventually found another man. They're honeymooning now... What a  
surprise! But if it makes her happy then I can't really say  
anything about it. But I know deep down, Neil was my dad and  
that's all I need to keep in my heart."  
  
Ethan nodded as he listened intently, absorbing all of her  
words. "Life is full of obstacles and you've surpassed so  
many."  
  
She smiled and appreciated his encouraging comments. "Yeah but  
I worry sometimes..."  
  
"About the cancer...? Worried it'll come back?"  
  
"Sometimes you know me too well Ethan... But yes... I worry that one  
day when I go to my check-up my doctor will tell me there is a  
dark patch in my body that has cancerous cells... It happened to  
Neil so it can happen to me too!" She sighed and looked up to  
be comforted by Ethan's sincere, gentle smile.  
  
"You should know by now that God wouldn't let you go through  
anything unless He knew you could endure it. And with Neil... It  
was just his time to join God but it doesn't mean your time is  
going to end... Everyone will eventually be reunited with God but  
you're going to become a nurse... You have too much good and  
potential to leave this world now..." He smiled and stroked her  
back, trying to comfort her worry and anxiety and it worked.  
Leah's apprehension soon eased as she leaned into the safe  
comforts of Ethan's chest as he wrapped her arms around her.  
  
Right. That's how she would describe it, she thought. As she  
was enclosed in the strong, safe hold of Ethan's arm, she became  
covered in a layer of warmth and safety, something she hasn't  
felt for years – four to be exact when she was last with Ethan.  
  
Ethan caressed the soft, silky layers of her dark brown hair as  
he held Leah in his arms. He became at a lost with words and  
was left speechless by this profound feeling... as if everything  
was right in the world.  
  
This tender moment between them was soon cut short when they  
both realized simultaneously that what they were doing shouldn't  
have happened. She slowly backed away to a safe distance and  
smiled awkwardly. "Well thanks for this talk. It helped to  
know we can still talk about anything and I'm glad we've decided  
to be friends." She wasn't sure but in her mind the words  
'friends' seemed to be emphasized quite strongly...  
  
Caught off guard, Ethan quickly nodded and stuttered, "Oh... err...  
right! Yeah... Great... Always be friends..." He smiled awkwardly and  
looked to the ground.  
  
"Yeah... Well I better go back inside. I'm sure they wouldn't  
mind two extra hands to help out with the dishes. I'll see you  
around... next time I come to the farm." She smiled and turned  
towards the door and soon disappeared into the depths of the  
Longacre household.  
  
Leah thought about her talk with Ethan and was content with the thought of being friends... Just friends... But she couldn't shake off the feeling she had when they were hugging. It just felt right. Does that even make any sense? We're friends – that's all! The hug was innocent... He was just comforting me because that's what friends do! Yeah... that's got to be it! She continued to run all her ideas through her mind and eventually dove into a deep sleep.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Ethan laid in his bed as stared at the ceiling, also replaying the events of that night. What was I thinking when I hugged and held her... If Martha walked in... He shook off his worries and promised himself not to slip up like that again! For the rest of the summer, he will be Leah's friend and nothing else because that is what she asked to be and I want her to remain in my life so it's settled! Friends, period! But as he thought to himself and debated over his actions more and more, he soon began to wonder... At that very moment... it just felt... right! I haven't felt that for years... Four to be exact... With Leah... 


	15. News

Before Leah knew it, autumn had passed by and the small town of Nappanee was covered in the soft, cotton layers of snow of the wintry season. It had been weeks, even months, since Ethan and Leah first agreed to be friends and nothing else. For the majority of the time, they were both successful at being 'friends' however, there were a handful of times when they both sensed a sudden vibe, a connection of some kind that would lead them to question their 'friendship' in their own hearts. However, often these 'moments' were quickly interrupted by the constant presence of the wonderful Martha Dewberry.

Leah slowly batted her eyelashes as she opened her eyes to the bright early morning light shining through her window. She lifted her head off her pillow and glanced over on the wall. Today was December 21st, the first official day of winter. Geez, about time the calendar caught up with the weather, she thought to herself as she gently slipped her feet into the comforts of her slippers. She walked to the edge of her windowsill and quickly squinted as the sunlight reflected off the freshly fallen snow. She saw Dr. Barlow shovelling the snow with Brian and she waved as they both looked up.

Leah walked downstairs and was welcomed by the warm scent of frying bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen. "Mornin' Leah! It's about time you woke up," said Maxine as she flipped trying to find the comics section of the paper.

"Hi Max. Yeah, I lost track of time. I didn't see how late it was," she replied as she took a seat next to her.

"No kidding. I knew you were tired from last night but even I'm not as dead as you are and I'm younger than you!" Max took a sip from her cup of orange juice and pushed the paper to the side of the table and turned to face Leah. "So are you going to tell me or what?"

Leah raised her left eyebrow and answered, "I really have no idea what you're talking about Max," trying to sound convincing but she was not successful.

She smirked and gave Leah her undeniable pout and batted her eyelashes in attempt to sway her friend and surprisingly it worked as Leah signed and said, "I'm not telling you because of that puppy face worked on me. It's just so annoying I want you to stop!" Both of the girls laughed as Leah continued, "Well you were there last night so I don't even know why you're asking me what happened. It was Charity's birthday party. I don't see what's so 'wow' about it. You're easily entertained, aren't you Max!"

"Yeah yeah yeah... Tell me something new. Now what did you and Ethan talk about last night? I know I was there but I wasn't beside you the whole night," said Maxine eagerly as she looked intently at Leah.

Leah smiled and sighed and began to retell the events of last night, as she always does to entertain her friend.

It was a special night for Leah's dear friend Charity - it was her birthday! The Longacre was holding a dinner in honour of her and they had invited the Dewberry and Barlow family to join in the celebration. It was a beautiful winter's night as the Barlows and Leah arrived on the Longacre farm. Charity quickly welcomed them inside into the homey family room, which had a warm fireplace radiating with heat. Charity introduced her family, including the Dewberrys who had arrived just before them. The night had a lovely start and things continued to improve when everyone gathered for a wonderful dinner prepared by the women. Leah sat back quietly and observed everyone as they laughed and conversed among themselves. She found it amazing how the Doc and Mr. Longacre pretended so well that they've never met each other before and how at ease Mr. Longacre seems considering English people were among his company.

Soon dinner was over and the women cleaned up the table and the men retired to the sitting area. Leah was helping Charity and Max dry the dishes when she saw Ethan signal her to come outside with him. She quietly excused herself and met him outside on the porch steps as usual as they started to walk off.

"It's getting quite cool these days..." said Ethan as they slowly walked towards the barn.

"Yeah, I can definitely feel the winter season coming soon." She looked up to the dark blanket sky and became entranced by the twinkling of the millions of stars. "So when do you and Martha plan to marry? I guess it's too late to marry this year, right?" Why did I just ask that? Why should I care? My curiosity always gets the best of me! But I couldn't help, thought Leah.

Ethan seemed a bit surprised by Leah's question but answered it nonetheless. "Well it is too late for this year considering there's only 11 days left..."

Leah thinks and suddenly realizes Ethan is right. "I completely forgot that it was already December 20th... Wow... Time just flies here."

Ethan smiles. "As for the wedding, it will most likely be sometime next year after the harvest... November or so I would presume. Martha wants to have it as soon as possible..."

Is that supposed to be a surprise? Of course Martha wants it as soon as possible. "Well I can understand why... I'm sure she's very excited about. A lot of girls start picturing their wedding even when they're very young. It's every girl's dream..." She smiled but as she thought about it, she soon realized that she has dreamt about a wedding but she was never sure whom the groom was or even what type of person she pictured him to be. She soon shook off the thought as Ethan began to speak again.

"Yes... A wedding is quite an important event." He nodded in agreement but he couldn't help but feel some uneasiness about his particular wedding with Martha.

"Yeah... Ethan... I have something to tell you..." She slowly became more and more nervous as she watched Ethan look at her curiously. How am I going to tell him? He's going to be so... This is going to change everything and so much has happened with our 'friends' thing and add this on top of it... Her thoughts began to generate in a whirlwind.

Something to tell me... I couldn't help but feel some excitement and anticipation as if Leah is about to tell me something that's good but wait... people never have good news when they say they have something to tell you... It's almost as bad as 'we have to talk'. Soon Ethan began to get nervous as he said, "Leah... Is something wrong? Are you alright?"

Okay get a grip Leah! It's not THAT bad... It'll be okay. Breathe and just show him the letter. She slowly reached into her back pocket to retrieve a letter as she said, "Oh no... I'm fine but..." She hands him the letter and nervously watches his reaction intently.

Ethan is confused as he reads the letter and pauses for a moment to process everything. "Leah..." He didn't know what to say... Is he supposed to be supportive or disappointed? His emotions began to become entangled as he tried to piece together his thoughts. I am her friend so I should be supportive, yet I don't want to see her leave but...

His thoughts were soon interrupted by Leah waving her hand in front of his face to snap him out of his trance. "Ethan...? You're okay with this right?"

Ethan quickly replied, "Oh yes! It's great Leah! This is what you've always wanted! I'm happy for you and I wish you the best of luck! I'm glad you're doing this..."

"Well good... I appreciate your support."

"Wait... you actually told him? Not just that... He said it was great?!?! What kind of answer is that?" Maxine quickly protested and began to ramble on about Ethan's reaction but Leah quickly got her to quiet down.

"I'm glad he doesn't have a problem with me going back to school come this January." And it's true. I'm glad he's supporting me on this but I can't help but wonder why he seemed THAT supportive... We're friends and we should support each other but there should be at least a bit of disappointment... right?

"I just don't get it. You're leaving after you and Ethan have become such good friends and he seems so... okay with it." This didn't make any sense to Max.

"Well what is he going to be? Sad and disappointed and convince me not to finish my education and waste the previous years I've already devoted to my studies?"

Maxine thinks about what Leah just said and says, "Well if you put it that way... I guess it makes sense but you know all of us are disappointed you're leaving, especially me. I'll be so lonely! I won't have anyone to talk to about everything. You've really become a sister to me, you know." She couldn't help but feel sad to think her friend was going to be gone for four months.

"You've become a sister to me too and I'll come back and visit. You can also call me and email me anytime!" She leaned over and hugged Max.

"So when are you leaving?"

"I'm not sure... Sometime after Christmas before New Year's I think..."


End file.
